I knew I lived in a man’s world. Men get paid more. They get treated better. They get higher positions of power. I mean, just look at the 2016 presidential election. The most highly experienced presidential candidate ever lost to arguably the least experienced candidate ever. It's just all a part of living in a man's world. What I didn’t know was that I spoke a man’s language.
In one of my classes we read an essay by Gloria Anzaldúa called “How to Tame a Wild Tongue.” In her essay, she explores the idea that “language is a male discourse.” I’d never thought about it that way. In fact when I compared English to Spanish I thought we were doing better. We don't have feminine and masculine nouns like in Spanish where depending on if el, la, un, or una is in front of a word it is feminine or masculine.
When I thought about it more I found that there are “words that are derogatory if applied to woman” and “I’ve never heard them applied to men.” Her words could not have been any truer. For the next three days, I thought up as many derogatory words I could think of for both boys and girls. The results shocked me.
Women can be called whores, hoes, bitches, sluts, and more. Men are called sons of bitches, bastards, pussys, douches, and more. All of the derogatory terms women are called are awful because they attack them personally. For men that’s not the case. All of the derogatory words for men are actually attacking women.
Sons of bitches. Insulting a man’s mother. Bastard. Saying his mother had him out of wedlock. That is not insulting to the man, but to his mother. Pussy. Means a guy is acting like a girl. This term is basically saying a man is acting too feminine. This is insulting to women as well. Finally douches. These are used by women to clean their vaginas. I don’t think I even need to explain why calling a man a douche is actually just insulting towards women.
Every single term I thought of that is rude to call a man had to do with women. It either insulted women or compared them to women. It gives off the image that women are undesirable. Why isn’t there any derogatory terms for men that don’t have to do with women? Why are all of women’s derogatory terms about their sexuality?
It’s all about double standards. Men are celebrated the more they have sex. Women are shamed. Men are called players if they have had lots of girlfriends. Women are called whores or sluts if they’ve had lots of boyfriends. Men are celebrated for having premarital sex. Women are lectured for losing their purity. For women it is devastating and even reputation-ending to be called any of those terms. Men can brush it off and move on.
I argue that the problem of language comes from our problem in society. Despite gains in equality, women still suffer from discrimination and gender norms. They are still expected to be quiet, agreeable, meek, nurturing, pure and more. Whenever they reject these norms they get these labels stuck to them.
If I ever got angry I would instantly be called a bitch because apparently women aren't allowed to be angry. But if a man got angry he is seen as powerful. Let's look at the presidental candidates. Hillary Clinton wasn't allowed to be angry no matter how many times she was insulted because then she would be discounted. But Donald Trump was always angry and that made people see him as powerful. If you ask me, that makes no sense.
These labels are all part of what Anzaldúa calls “the male discourse.” As much as I hate it, I’m stuck speaking a man’s language. But just because I am doesn’t mean I have to accept the labels they have given us.