When You're "Too Nice," You Often Struggle In 5 Unique Ways

When You're "Too Nice," You Often Struggle In 5 Unique Ways

Don’t go the extra mile for someone who would barely even cross the street for you.

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines the word “nice” as: “pleasant, agreeable, satisfactory.” All of which I consider myself to be.

Perhaps it is rooted in the way I was raised. My teachers and parents enforced something referred to as the "Golden Rule" - treat others the way you would like to be treated. I have always kept this childhood memoir embedded into the back of my mind - but over all these years I have found that maybe, sometimes, I’m just a little too nice.

1. When you're “too nice," you say "sorry" too much.

We all have those words or catch phrases people often associate us with. Aside from saying “you’re not wrong” or my silly jokes about “being launched into the void,” I always find myself apologizing, even when I don't have to be. After doing some research, I found that this is psychologically known as “The Sorry Syndrome.”

I constantly feel the need to use the word, even in the smallest situations, that it often ends up cheapening the times I am actually sorry about something.

2. When you're “too nice," you please others before pleasing yourself.

Even when I am aware that I am inconveniencing myself, I still go out of my way to please others - even when they don’t usually ask for it. In addition to saying “sorry” too much, I also say “yes” too much. I commit to too many things at once - and it ultimately ends in having to cancel plans, whether I would like to or not.

3. When you're “too nice,” you often forgive too easily.

As a child, Goldilocks and the Three Bears taught me to “forgive and forget”. But at what point do you forget? And how easily are you expected to forgive? In my experiences, I have found myself forgiving people that didn’t deserve it a little too soon. People who have hurt me, used me, and did not treat me the way I deserved to be.

4. When you're “too nice,” you get taken advantage of.

Looking back on past relationships with other people, I have found that my peers have taken advantage of my kindness - maybe it was unintentional, or so I would like to believe. If you are always so readily available, others see it as a way to use you.

5. When you're “too nice,” you don’t speak up.

In my mind, I know the right thing to say, or the right thing to do. However, when it comes to the actual confrontation… I choke up. I get scared of the outcomes, when often they aren’t all that bad. I tend to overthink absolutely everything, which creates worrying about scenarios that probably won’t even happen.

So, I have realized I’m too nice. What now?

As the saying goes, the first step to fixing your problem is admitting you have one - and finally, I am going to do something about it. Being nice is not a problem at all, don’t get me wrong, but when it comes to the point where you’re a doormat to other people. It’s a problem.

From this point on, I am going to begin to say “no” when presented with situations that may inconvenience me. I am going to stop saying “sorry” all the time, and realize the strength a word can hold when I really am sorry.

I am going to be honest about how I feel and stand up for myself. I am going to voice my opinion, with no regard to what others might think about it. I am going to realize that I cannot simply please everyone. I am going to say the word "no" without fear. I am going to be more assertive.

And most importantly, in doing these things, I am going to realize my worth.

Sometimes being nice can be dangerous. You have to show your mean side once in a while to avoid getting hurt.

To all the others out there who are also “too nice”, don’t let the people in your life see your niceness as a way to walk all over you. I know it can be hard, and quite frankly I’m only just beginning to learn to tone down the niceness.

Try to put yourself first. Make sure you are happy with yourself before making others happy. Don’t go the extra mile for someone who would barely even cross the street for you. From one “nice” person to another, stand up for yourself.

You are enough.

Cover Image Credit: Tatum Van Dam

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I Weigh Over 200 Lbs And You Can Catch Me In A Bikini This Summer

There is no magic number that determines who can wear a bikini and who cannot.

It is about February every year when I realize that bikini season is approaching. I know a lot of people who feel this way, too. In pursuit of the perfect "summer body," more meals are prepped and more time is spent in the gym. Obviously, making healthier choices is a good thing! But here is a reminder that you do not have to have a flat stomach and abs to rock a bikini.

Since my first semester of college, I've weighed over 200 pounds. Sometimes way more, sometimes only a few pounds more, but I have not seen a weight starting with the number "1" since the beginning of my freshman year of college.

My weight has fluctuated, my health has fluctuated, and unfortunately, my confidence has fluctuated. But no matter what, I haven't allowed myself to give up wearing the things I want to wear to please the eyes of society. And you shouldn't, either.

I weigh over 200lbs in both of these photos. To me, (and probably to you), one photo looks better than the other one. But what remains the same is, regardless, I still chose to wear the bathing suit that made me feel beautiful, and I'm still smiling in both photos. Nobody has the right to tell you what you can and can't wear because of the way you look.

There is no magic number that equates to health. In the second photo (and the cover photo), I still weigh over 200 lbs. But I hit the gym daily, ate all around healthier and noticed differences not only on the scale but in my mood, my heart health, my skin and so many other areas. You are not unhealthy because you weigh over 200 lbs and you are not healthy because you weigh 125. And, you are not confined to certain clothing items because of it, either.

This summer, after gaining quite a bit of weight back during the second semester of my senior year, I look somewhere between those two photos. I am disappointed in myself, but ultimately still love my body and I'm proud of the motivation I have to get to where I want to be while having the confidence to still love myself where I am.

And if you think just because I look a little chubby that I won't be rocking a bikini this summer, you're out of your mind.

If YOU feel confident, and if YOU feel beautiful, don't mind what anybody else says. Rock that bikini and feel amazing doing it.

Cover Image Credit: Sara Petty

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Give Yoga A Chance, One Namaste At A Time

Flowing through into something new.

OK, hear me out. I believe that everyone should give yoga a chance. Yoga is a full mind and body workout that allows you to do things you didn't know you were capable of.

There might be the stereotype that it's just glorified stretching but anyone who has done yoga knows this is not true. There are so many different types of yoga. You just need to find the one that works for you.

Yoga might seem like a foreign language once you start looking for a class. Odds are you don't know the differences between Vinyasa, Iyengar, Ashtanga, Bikram, or Restorative yoga. But no worries! The yoga community is very welcoming to newcomers and will help you reach your goals. Unlike typical workouts, it's not a competition. Just you, your mat, and the instructor's voice. Everyone's concern is their own workout and bettering themselves.

Like all working out, yoga is self-motivated. The saying "you get out what you put in" is very true when it comes to yoga. You will more than likely hear you instructor talking about your practice. They are referring to what your body, mind, and effort. Whatever you want to get out of yoga is what you have to put in.

Don't get me wrong, I was a skeptic at one point too. I remember walking out of my first class saying "this is a cult." Looking back now I laugh and realize I might not have been as openminded as I should have been. Once you realize the Oms and Namestes are to help you relax and clear your mind, you won't even think about it. Going into yoga with an open mind is very important because you won't have the opportunity to better yourself if you never give it a chance.

If you are interested in trying but are hesitant or don't know what classes to take do your research. There are hundreds of articles explaining what each type of yoga is and what to expect in a class. Also, you could even call your local yoga studio and see what they recommend for newcomers.

Yoga might be a mystery to you but even if it doesn't seem like something you'd enjoy just give it a try. What could it hurt, right?

Cover Image Credit: Creative Commons

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