When You're "Too Nice," You Often Struggle In 5 Unique Ways

When You're "Too Nice," You Often Struggle In 5 Unique Ways

Don’t go the extra mile for someone who would barely even cross the street for you.
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The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines the word “nice” as: “pleasant, agreeable, satisfactory.” All of which I consider myself to be.

Perhaps it is rooted in the way I was raised. My teachers and parents enforced something referred to as the "Golden Rule" - treat others the way you would like to be treated. I have always kept this childhood memoir embedded into the back of my mind - but over all these years I have found that maybe, sometimes, I’m just a little too nice.

1. When you're “too nice," you say "sorry" too much.

We all have those words or catch phrases people often associate us with. Aside from saying “you’re not wrong” or my silly jokes about “being launched into the void,” I always find myself apologizing, even when I don't have to be. After doing some research, I found that this is psychologically known as “The Sorry Syndrome.”

I constantly feel the need to use the word, even in the smallest situations, that it often ends up cheapening the times I am actually sorry about something.

2. When you're “too nice," you please others before pleasing yourself.

Even when I am aware that I am inconveniencing myself, I still go out of my way to please others - even when they don’t usually ask for it. In addition to saying “sorry” too much, I also say “yes” too much. I commit to too many things at once - and it ultimately ends in having to cancel plans, whether I would like to or not.

3. When you're “too nice,” you often forgive too easily.

As a child, Goldilocks and the Three Bears taught me to “forgive and forget”. But at what point do you forget? And how easily are you expected to forgive? In my experiences, I have found myself forgiving people that didn’t deserve it a little too soon. People who have hurt me, used me, and did not treat me the way I deserved to be.

4. When you're “too nice,” you get taken advantage of.

Looking back on past relationships with other people, I have found that my peers have taken advantage of my kindness - maybe it was unintentional, or so I would like to believe. If you are always so readily available, others see it as a way to use you.

5. When you're “too nice,” you don’t speak up.

In my mind, I know the right thing to say, or the right thing to do. However, when it comes to the actual confrontation… I choke up. I get scared of the outcomes, when often they aren’t all that bad. I tend to overthink absolutely everything, which creates worrying about scenarios that probably won’t even happen.

So, I have realized I’m too nice. What now?

As the saying goes, the first step to fixing your problem is admitting you have one - and finally, I am going to do something about it. Being nice is not a problem at all, don’t get me wrong, but when it comes to the point where you’re a doormat to other people. It’s a problem.

From this point on, I am going to begin to say “no” when presented with situations that may inconvenience me. I am going to stop saying “sorry” all the time, and realize the strength a word can hold when I really am sorry.

I am going to be honest about how I feel and stand up for myself. I am going to voice my opinion, with no regard to what others might think about it. I am going to realize that I cannot simply please everyone. I am going to say the word "no" without fear. I am going to be more assertive.

And most importantly, in doing these things, I am going to realize my worth.

Sometimes being nice can be dangerous. You have to show your mean side once in a while to avoid getting hurt.

To all the others out there who are also “too nice”, don’t let the people in your life see your niceness as a way to walk all over you. I know it can be hard, and quite frankly I’m only just beginning to learn to tone down the niceness.

Try to put yourself first. Make sure you are happy with yourself before making others happy. Don’t go the extra mile for someone who would barely even cross the street for you. From one “nice” person to another, stand up for yourself.

You are enough.

Cover Image Credit: Tatum Van Dam

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To All The Nurses In The Making

We tell ourselves that one day it'll all pay off, but will it actually?
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I bet you’re taking a break from studying right now just to read this, aren’t you? Either at the library with friends or in your dorm room. Wherever you may be, you never get the chance to put your books down, at least that’s how it feels to most of us. It sucks feeling like you’ve chosen the hardest major in the world, especially when you see other students barely spending any time studying or doing school work. The exclamation “You’re still here!” is an all too frequent expression from fellow students after recognizing that you’ve spent 10-plus hours in the library. At first it didn’t seem so bad and you told yourself, “This isn’t so difficult, I can handle it,” but fast-forward a few months and you’re questioning if this is really what you want to do with your life.

You can’t keep track of the amount of mental breakdowns you’ve had, how much coffee you’ve consumed, or how many times you’ve called your mom to tell her that you’re dropping out. Nursing is no joke. Half the time it makes you want to go back and change your major, and the other half reminds you why you want to do this, and that is what gets you through it. The thing about being a nursing major is that despite all the difficult exams, labs and overwhelming hours of studying you do, you know that someday you might be the reason someone lives, and you can’t give up on that purpose. We all have our own reasons why we chose nursing -- everyone in your family is a nurse, it’s something you’ve always wanted to do, you’re good at it, or like me, you want to give back to what was given to you. Regardless of what your reasoning is, we all take the same classes, deal with the same professors, and we all have our moments.

I’ve found that groups of students in the same nursing program are like a big family who are unconditionally supportive of each other and offer advice when it’s needed the most. We think that every other college student around us has it so easy, but we know that is not necessarily true. Every major can prove difficult; we’re just a little harder on ourselves. Whenever you feel overwhelmed with your school work and you want to give up, give yourself a minute to imagine where you’ll be in five years -- somewhere in a hospital, taking vitals, and explaining to a patient that everything will be OK. Everything will be worth what we are going through to get to that exact moment.

Remember that the stress and worry about not getting at least a B+ on your anatomy exam is just a small blip of time in our journey; the hours and dedication suck, and it’s those moments that weed us out. Even our advisors tell us that it’s not easy, and they remind us to come up with a back-up plan. Well, I say that if you truly want to be a nurse one day, you must put in your dedication and hard work, study your ass off, stay organized, and you WILL become the nurse you’ve always wanted to be. Don’t let someone discourage you when they relent about how hard nursing is. Take it as motivation to show them that yeah, it is hard, but you know what, I made it through.

With everything you do, give 110 percent and never give up on yourself. If nursing is something that you can see yourself doing for the rest of your life, stick with it and remember the lives you will be impacting someday.

SEE ALSO: Why Nursing School Is Different Than Any Other Major

Cover Image Credit: Kaylee O'Neal

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The School Year Will Be A Break From My Summer Vacation, Don't @ Me

Working 45 hours a week takes a bigger toll on you than writing a history paper.

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Almost every college student takes up a job during the summer. Some work for a little extra spending money and some work to fill the three months between May and August. I work for both of these reasons, not because I have to, but because I want too. However, this doesn't mean that I had some frilly job that covered 20 hours of my week.

I worked as a nanny for two different special-needs families at 40-45 hours per week, and I'll be honest, this job wasn't easy. There were days I would leave after working 11 hours covered in blood, pee, sweat, and dirt- all of which were not mine.

There were countless meltdowns that left me with bruises, scratches, and an almost broken tooth. From a girl who doesn't cry over anything, I broke down twice out of frustration because the job just became too much. I called my mom at least three times a week just to vent about rude grandparents.

This job was a real test of my mental strength and patience.

But even through all this bad, I learned so much about myself and why I am studying to be a speech pathologist. This summer was like school, but in a different way. It wasn't an internship, but I learned outside of the classroom in real-life situations.

In just a few short days, I will be back in the classroom for only 3-4 hours a day, and then I'll be free to do what I want. I won't have to worry about one of my kids breaking their nose or jaw during a meltdown. The only worry I'll have is my when my next neuro paper is due.

The school year will be a break, and I am so looking forward to it. I'll actually get to talk to people my own age, and maybe even take a nap during the day!

I'll miss all my kids dearly and I will cherish all the good memories and laughs we had together. But, I am ready for a break from them.


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