I'm Graduating and Other Terrifying Things
Start writing a post
Student Life

I'm Terrified Of Graduation, And It's Not Because Of What Comes Next

The storm before the calm?

37
I'm Terrified Of Graduation, And It's Not Because Of What Comes Next
https://unsplash.com/photos/1VqHRwxcCCw

It's officially here. My last undergraduate semester in college has begun and it feels like I started my higher education just yesterday. I'm excited to put it behind me and move on to a career, but I can't ignore the smothering fright that comes with it. I'm not as much afraid of what happens after graduation as I am the event itself (or what will lead up to it).

I often look forward to the start of a new semester. I look forward to a fresh start, a concrete schedule and another program to keep me accountable. There has never been an issue with jumping right back in and catching speed, but this time around was different. An overarching sense of fear and doubt have plagued the start of the semester and I can only hope that it fades before long.

Admittedly, I suffer from my fair share of irrational fears. Even though I can acknowledge that they're outrageous, I still live with them and it's made me afraid to admit that I'm graduating. Spending my days in fear that if I come to terms with my impending graduation that it won't happen. Somehow, in my head, I've decided that verbal recognition is going to terminate the success entirely.

I've always had a good run in school and never really struggled to keep up and even situate myself far above average, but I've also been growing the fear that I won't perform well. This time around, I've got a feeling that all of my previous education and efforts will fail me. Sort of like a dream where you take an exam and can't even read the language. Does this make any sense? No. Does it still keep me up at night anyway? Of course.

At this point, all I can really do is buckle down and wait for the storm to pass. It's my last semester and, although I wish I could enjoy it a bit more, I bulked up my course and workload to make it the busiest one yet. Despite how much I want it to end and want to move on, I know that I have to make it work. If I keep my mind focused on something else, it can't be hard for me to put my head down and do the work.

I am graduating at the end of the semester and, unless I desert everything I've ever known, that won't change. It might be hard for me to admit, but every day that I struggle with it brings me one day closer to the ceremony (and one day closer to the day after the ceremony).

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Featured

Leaving My Backpack In The Library

Views about society and the stranger sitting right across from me

28865
https://unsplash.com/photos/O0T1SIgHAfM

As a college student, my backpack is an extension of myself in many ways. It contains my notes, pens, and computer vital for my success in college. It contains the snacks and water bottle I need to survive long days on campus. It also contains the "in-case" items that help put my mind at rest if I forgot something from home: extra hair ties, masks, and that backup-backup snack. With so much in my backpack important to me and my life on campus, it is no wonder that I can get apprehensive about it when it is not with me or in my line of sight. And that makes me wonder.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

5 Cool Gadgets To Make Your Car Smart

Don't let this stop you from making your car smart. You can change the one you have using smart gadgets that transform your car into a smart car.

95343

Cars are no longer just a mode of transport, where you only worry about the engine and how beautiful its interior is. These days, everyone wants to make their cars smarter, those with advanced technology systems. It makes sense for several reasons. It can make your vehicle more efficient and safer when you need to drive.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

The Inevitable Truth of Loss

You're going to be okay.

120204

As we humans face loss and grief on a daily basis, it's challenging to see the good in all the change. Here's a better perspective on how we can deal with this inevitable feeling and why it could help us grow.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

'Venom: Let There Be Carnage' Film Review

Tom Hardy and Woody Harrelson lead a tigher, more fun sequel to 2018's 'Venom'

100515
Photo Credit: Sony Pictures Entertainment – YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-FmWuCgJmxo

When Sony announced that Venom would be getting a stand-alone movie, outside of the Tom Holland MCU Spider-Man films, and intended to start its own separate shared universe of films, the reactions were generally not that kind. Even if Tom Hardy was going to take on the role, why would you take Venom, so intrinsically connected to Spider-Man's comic book roots, and remove all of that for cheap action spectacle?

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

'The Addams Family 2' Film Review

The sequel to the 2019 reboot is an enjoyable, but unremarkable start to the Halloween movie season

63925
Photo Credit: MGM – YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kd82bSBDE84

There's a reason why the Addams Family have become icons of the American cartoon pantheon (although having one of the catchiest theme songs in television history doesn't hinder them).

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments