I've never been in a relationship and for years it used to make me feel like something was wrong with me. Being single made me feel incapable of being loved; it left me feeling unwanted. Family and friends would ask, "Why don't you have a boyfriend? You're beautiful, smart, and kind." I would tell them, "I don't know why." Currently, I have a new viewpoint on being single.
Being single doesn't feel like I have an obligation to start dating. I feel alive and I feel free. I love waking up every single morning not knowing what will happen or who I will meet. Life is a limited adventure that shouldn't be wasted pining for Mr. Right. You can't love others if you don't love yourself first. My journey of learning to love myself and be self-confident is not finished. I'm still finding out who I am.
I'm a hopeless romantic, so I'm not bitter or closed off to the idea of love. It has never worked out, so it can be hard to trust people. There's always something: timing, miscommunication, etc. At the time I would internalize it and think it was my wrongdoing for these potential relationships to not progress. I know now that it's not me, it's just not in the cards for me at the moment. It will happen when it happens.
This is the time to spend for myself. I'm using this time to love deeply, laugh hard, and make unforgettable memories. I'm building everlasting friendships, and seeing beautiful places. I'm not afraid to go out to restaurants or coffee shops alone. I like the noise and the chatter; being around strangers is fascinating because everyone is living their own lives, and I'm just a spectator. I like to have fun and socialize, but there's most nights where I'm more than happy with just staying in and having a movie marathon. At the end of the day, the one who will be there the most is myself, so I need to get to know me for me, and love every piece. Being comfortable in my own skin is my number one goal.
I used to believe that if I was in a relationship or receiving attention that I would be better off; that it would make all my problems go away. To be honest, this way of thinking is quite irrational. You can't put your happiness in another person's hands because it has to come from you. You can't put that responsibility on someone else because that person may not be able to handle how great you are. I used to be afraid of being alone because I am a late bloomer. I thought I wouldn't ever be able to experience the wonderful things that do come with a relationship. Nowadays, I think being a late bloomer is amazing, and it is part of what makes me me.
There's so much more than being in a relationship. I've gotten more fulfillment out of my experiences because I'm not so worried about if guys are attracted to me or not, or about what other people think of me. I'm studying a career that I love, I'm fortunate to have a loving family, I have wonderful friends, I'm traveling, I've taken up my passions and hobbies again, and there couldn't be anything more to ask for. I'm making the most out of my life by basing my decisions off of what pleases myself and not others.
I'm not writing this article to say that relationships are the ultimate evil. Relationships are awesome, but that's just not for me right now. I'm focusing on loving myself, and that's all I need to do. I'm single and I'm finally not ashamed of it. To all you other single girls out there, keep doing what you do because you are worthy of all the love in the entire world. Your time will come, I promise!