Love is a concept that I feel most seek to find. However, when it comes to relationships in this generation, love is basically a foreign language that no one wants to take the time to learn.

Yet, people still wonder why I am so hard to love.

1. The walls I've built basically need a top-secret password to get though.

When you first meet me, you'll probably think to yourself, what is wrong with this girl, just because I most likely won't say much. I'm more of the observant type. I like to see how you'll act before I even begin to show you who I am. It's not that I'm secretive, but I get severe anxiety from being judged. I built my walls up so high because at that point if someone is actually serious about wanting to get to know me, they will make an actual effort.

2. I won't tell you when something is wrong.

I am one to hold my own. I absolutely hate asking for help. I will struggle and try over and over until my head explodes before breaking down and asking. If I've had a bad day, even if you can tell by the expression on my face, I will deny it a hundred times. It's not to start fights, I just like to think I can handle things all on my own. (I kinda like being my own superhero)

3. My insecurities are endless.

When it comes to compliments, I'm the worst about taking them. My past has caused me such a low self-esteem and I want to believe you mean all those nice things, but my mindset won't allow me. You'll have to hear me ask you at least ten times a day why you even like me. Being so insecure leads to endless amounts of reassurance, which yes I know, gets very annoying and frustrating.

4. I have high expectations for love.

Honestly, I kinda just live in a fantasy world when it comes to where I expect my love life to be. Growing up watching Disney and romance movies lead me to believing in finding "the one." The one that just makes your heart melt and gives you butterflies in your stomach every time you see them. When I love someone, I love them hard. Yet, I also wish for the same which is hard to get in this world.

5. I'm such a picky eater.

This is probably honestly a deal breaker for most. I'm super picky when it comes to food and at most places, I will order chicken tenders and have no shame doing so.Plus, I'm always hesitate of trying new things, but I'm not pressured too much. I'm usually more willing. However, it makes finding and choosing somewhere to eat difficult if not impossible. (Chick-Fil-A is always a good choice though!)

I might be different and not what most guys look for or can even handle, but if being miserable is the other result of love, then I'm perfectly okay with being hard to love.