It's such a cliche to say it, but let's be clear. No one is who they were when they were still an adolescent aimlessly wandering past lockers while simultaneously panicking about the great, vague unknown future. I still wander around a bit, and I still panic a lot. I do it on a college campus, however, because I am a full-fledged adult, sort of.
Moving on, if you tell me I haven't changed, I will probably be ever so slightly offended. To change is to keep moving. To remain constant is to remain in place. By saying I haven't changed, you are also implying I haven't grown or gained knowledge or made progress on the great path of life. I know I have. I can feel it.
For better or for worse, I don't see the same people I saw in high school. Friends are a huge part of who we are. I may say I do not see my old comrades because we are all over the place at different universities, but that's sort of a cop out. It's more likely because I burn myself out so much at school that when I come home on breaks or for the summer, I just need to chill and not socialize. (If you are one of those friends whose invites I blow off, I'm really sorry. It's not personal.)
So, since I am not hanging out with the same folks, I don't have the same catchphrases and inside jokes. I don't think the same things are funny, and I don't look back on the same memories about friends with whom I have sadly fallen out of touch. I have new jokes and new memories from the last few years of college that get rehashed more often nowadays.
Separate from the influence of new and old friends, I have changed a lot on my own. I lived away at school for the first time. I experienced new kinds of hobbies like radio and behind-the-scenes theater work and writing for different on-campus publications. These all shaped me. I had new relationships and saw the world through new perspectives because of them.
Speaking of seeing the world, I studied abroad. That may have changed me more than anything else. All of the cliches are true. I lived on my own for 100 days, without a cell phone, and gained independence and the ability to think fast and plan trips and budget money. Most importantly, I gained confidence. I came back stronger, ready to be a better leader and a better friend. I learned to savor the small things and hold onto people for as long as possible while you still have them in your life. I think I value things more in general because of going overseas.
So, to the kind sir who thought I was still in high school, I wish you knew that I am so much more than I was then. I don't want you to think I was a failure of a human back when I was 17, but 21-year-old me feels so much more ready to take on the world.
