I'm Not The Picture Perfect Older Sister

Since each of you were born, I have taken on the responsibility of walking you through life, teaching you lessons, holding you at your lowest, and putting you up on the pedestal when appropriate. When you three smile I am given hope, and when you laugh I experience joy. Through every dance competition, basketball game, and daisy’s meeting, I am given another reason to appreciate each of you.

To my 14-year-old best friend - I am so thankful for you. You may think I know everything, and when you come to me for advice I promise that I try my best to lead you in the right direction. I am not perfect. Knowing me, you know that is hard for me to admit, but I do make mistakes. As someone you look up to as you grow into the absolutely beautiful, young lady you’re becoming, I never want to let you see me in a bad place. I don’t like to admit I’m wrong because I don’t want you to stop needing me. I don’t want you to grow up, and I certainly don’t want you to experience any of the hardships that I did when I was your age. You are absolutely stunning and as you go through high school I have one important piece of advice for you - don’t lose sight of who you are for someone else’s happiness.

To my ten-yea-old bad ass - I love you more than it may seem. I know sometimes it may feel like we’re all against you, and maybe that’s the middle-sister-syndrome kicking in, but I promise you that I will never turn my back on you. I think one of the main reasons we fight so much is because I see a lot of myself in you. From your piercing blue eyes to your beautiful thick hair, from the way you can brighten someone's day the moment they hear your laugh to the way you are able to comfort anyone who needs it, I admire you. You are strong, and you are beautiful, and I am sorry if anyone has ever made you feel otherwise. I want you to know that you are loved, regardless of how you may feel some days. To me, it’s scary to see you grow up so quickly simply because of how independent you are. Honestly, I’m more scared of you not needing me more than I am scared of whether or not you’ll be okay without me. Do not change who you are for anyone.

To my six-year-old fighter - you changed me. When I say this, I obviously mean I’ve changed for the better. Through you, I have gained knowledge, maturity, and an unconditional love for not only you and the girls but for everyone I meet. Since you came into my life I have learned to take every day with open arms and to accept whatever life throws my way because that is exactly what you did. Some days I think I need you more than you’ll ever need me, some days I don’t. I know our age difference is a big one, but I will be here through it all. Your first heartbreak, your first love, the first time you fail a test, the times you’re struggling to make a decision, first day of high school, college move-in day, all of it. I know I’ll have my own life, my own family, and my own problems to worry about, but if you ever need me I’ll be there in a second.

Secretly ladies, I look up to each of you in different ways. Your ability to take the negative in a situation and turn it into a positive, the way you constantly strive for more, and the strength you give everyone around you, the three of you give me the power to love and believe in myself. You three know what you want and stop at nothing to get it. I’m writing this because I’m not currently living under the same roof as you’s. I know that it’s hard to admit, but I know it’s different without me there because I feel the difference here too. I’m writing this for the times you call and I can’t answer. The times I am too busy worrying about the minuscule details even though you three are my big picture.

I’ll stop blabbing and leave you with some things I want you guys to hold onto forever. Continue to follow your dreams. Whether you want to cure cancer or be the tooth fairy, keep working on achieving those dreams. Your first feeling on a situation is usually the right one and you really don’t need me to agree. Always follow your heart, it’ll lead you in the right direction. Never let go, unless what you’re holding onto is going to hold you back. Cry when you feel like crying and don’t be afraid to laugh so hard your stomach hurts. Yell as loud as you want and when you can’t sleep I’m a text, call, or FaceTime away. You can do anything you put your mind to and your little hearts hold more love than anyone I know. You three are all beautiful inside and out. If people are too stupid to notice remember this - those who matter won’t mind, and those who mind won’t matter. Keep on keeping on my little stinkers.


Your Overprotective Older Sister

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