It's natural to experience feelings of hesitancy before an upcoming birthday, but for some reason, this year feels different to me. I'm 20 going on 21, and I don't think I'm quite ready for the change. So many elements of my life have changed dramatically (in just the past few months), so naturally, I have some reservations about this upcoming year.

1. I still have a lot to learn

Age 20 was a definitive year for me: I got engaged, transferred to my third college, dyed my hair blonde, and joined Odyssey. But I don't think I'm ready to turn 21 yet. There's still so much wisdom, knowledge, and information left for me to discover as a 20-year-old.

2. People assume bad things about your 21st birthday

Unfortunately, many of the brave Millennials who have gone before me have completely butchered the innocence of the 21st birthday. When you turn 19, 20, or even 22, people barely bat an eye — however, when you turn 21, all judgments are cut loose and you find yourself bombarded with dirty looks and false assumptions about your character.

No, I will not be drinking my body weight in beer on my birthday, thank you for asking. And no, just because I can legally purchase alcohol does not mean that I will be doing so on the daily (or ever).

3. I'm not ready to officially become an adult

I have to admit, I love the innocence of being 20. I still feel like a little kid some days, and I honestly don't believe in growing up. Maturing is for losers, and I am not a loser. I only hope that I can infuse some of my immaturity into this next decade of my life, because honestly, I don't want to grow up.

This upcoming year, I plan to joyfully embrace my transition into adulthood. Just because I'm officially entering my twenties doesn't mean that I need to hate my life or engage in the boring routine known as "slave your life away at a job you hate." No — I plan to seize the year and grow myself more and more each day.

4. Am I even ready to graduate?

I'll be graduating at age 21, and I'm not sure I'm ready for that stage in my life. Don't get me wrong — I hate college with a burning passion. But that doesn't mean I'm necessarily ready for a regular 9-to-5 or a world where I can't bury my bad days with naps and Netflix.

I am hopeful, however, that my life will improve significantly once I no longer have to write 15-page research papers or give book reports (case in point: I was extremely happy after I graduated from high school).

5. It's fun to be 20

I waited for my 20th birthday to come for at least 10 years. Something about it just seemed so fun, free, and fearless. Now that I'm almost past that idealistic birthday, I'm nervous for this next chapter in my life. I'll have to discover what 21 means to me, because everything will be new and I'll gradually become a new person as time goes on.

I know that this year will be wonderful in many ways, and I also know that God will direct me every step of the way — through the good times and bad. Here's to 21, and to everything God has in store for me.