I’m glad you have him.

He likes girls that don’t try too hard, but obviously by now you know that. When he does that thing with his face.. ,that small smirk.. you know, when the corners of his lips rise just a bit, and you can tell he doesn’t want you to know he’s smiling, but you’re damn well aware he is, that thing..

I know, you know by now.

I guess.. I’m just glad you have him.
Someone should.

I knew it wasn’t suppose to be me..
as much as I wanted it to be me..
I knew it wasn’t suppose to? Is that weird?
I knew he was meant to fall in love with the more perfect girl, then remember why it never worked out with his previous ones..-me.
But I didn’t want to be the previous girl.
I wanted to be the perfect girl.
The girl who volunteers at animal shelters (not for the pictures but because she “knew it was making a difference”)
Yeah that girl..
Not the girl that saw his texts but purposely waited the 30 minutes before texting him back just in hopes he wouldn’t grow tired of my constant messages or seeing my name appear across his phone.
Not the girl that flirted with other guys just to get a reaction.
And definitely not the girl that gave her everything to the man she claimed she loved, just to turn around the next day and sit on the lap of some random man she’d never really known.
-not that girl.
I wanted to be different.
But I spent so long trying to be different that by the time the opportunity presented itself to me, I was so far away from the one I once attempted to be that I wasn’t even remotely sure on how to get close to her again.

I guess that’s why I’m here.
To tell you I fucked up.
To tell you I think of my decision everyday, and even if I don’t act on it, I know damn well I missed something amazing and that’s a choice I’ll have to live with.

I guess I’m just glad you have him.

Do you notice how his face lights up when he talks about work? Not even his own success—he’s never really went on about that..but the way he looks when he’s telling you of the sale he made with the highest up person he could manage to get..
or the way he tells you about his new niece and what all he’s learned from being an uncle.

And yeah, you’ve always wanted a niece. So you cling on to the idea that could be YOUR niece.
That this life he goes on about could be YOUR life.

And you become afraid almost.
Like the things you’ve done,
People you’ve met,
Opinions you’ve had-
Like they were all nothing.
Because this thing.. THIS

This is real to you.

It all just becomes so real to you.

That you want to give your everything to a man you never intended on loving, but you’re still so far away from where you need to be, and at some point you just realize it will never work. No, that’s not because you don’t love him, and no it’s not because you aren’t willing to give him everything you possibly could,

...

but it’s because you know in your heart that the person he’s meant to be with is someone whose ready to take in all of him.

And. You’re. Just. Not. There.

So I’m glad you have him.

Because he deserved someone like you. You see it has been almost 4 years since I’ve met this man and each day my heart heals more. With someone new, I’m now emotionally and physically prepared to give him everything I wasn’t able to give your man.

And though it’s hard for me to say, my heart will never fully be over him. I believe that if you ever really loved anyone then they’ll always be present in there, somewhere. It doesn’t mean you can’t love again. Because you will. That person will make you realize why it didn’t work out with the man before you, but I promise it doesn’t mean those feelings just leave you because they won’t. You’ll be reminded of chances you missed and little questions of “what if’s”...

But things have worked out the way I saw them.

The man I once loved and myself couldn’t work out because our souls were not meant to be.

So even though there are nights I lay awake wondering...
And even though there are times I hate myself for being the person I use to be, to someone like him,

I’m still so thankful it was you.

I’m so, so very glad you have him.

Because he deserved to have someone like you.

And finally, after many years of getting lost along the way, I can be happy too, and know I’m ready for all the things I once wasn’t.

The "almost" scarier part of all of this is he knew I wasn’t ready either. Neither of us ever admitted this to one another, we both just painfully came to terms with the fact my head and heart were in two completely different spots and he deserved more than to wait for them to finally meet.

So like him, I’ve been waiting for the perfect girl to enter his life. And now that you have, I want to express my gratitude for you.

You see you are willing and ready to give him everything I couldn’t. And for that,

I’m so glad you have him.

Do me a favor though..

Take care of him.

Love him everyday, for the rest of your life-this won’t be hard.
Don’t get mad at him when he socializes with the many friends he has... he’s lovable, by now you know this.
Don’t get discouraged if he doesn’t answer you right away..
He’s busy and one of the most successful men I know. Take pride in that, I should’ve.
And lastly, don’t ever be like me.
Don’t lie,
Don’t crave attention at whatever form you can get it,
Don’t ask why he has friends that are girls that are so damn beautiful..
you’re beautiful too.
Just trust this man, and whatever you do.
Don’t be like me.

I am glad...
I am so very, truly glad, he has you.