Two weeks ago, I had my heart broken by the same guy who has been breaking it since I was 16. This time was different. I thought he was different. I thought WE were different. But, seeing as how I’m writing this right now, things were clearly not different. Over the last 2 weeks, I have been trying to cope with my devastatingly broken heart, and there’s a few things i’m tired of hearing. All I hear is “you’re not the same” or “you’ve been distant” and on multiple occasions have been lectured for my “self destructive behavior.” And I’m pissed. Let me self destruct. Let me download Tinder for a few weeks. Let me sit in my bed all day and watch Hallmark movies while eating a pint of Ben and Jerry’s. Let me listen to the same 7 sad songs and cry. I know I’m acting different. I am different. I’m trying to function with a bruised heart. I’m dealing with my life in my own way. I don’t need you to be my mother and tell me that my behavior is abnormal for me, because I know it is. I need my friends to understand. I need them to crawl in bed with me with a fuzzy blanket and a spoon and eat ice cream with me instead of reprimanding me for it. I am not okay. But I will be... eventually. It’s okay for me to not be okay. If I was really okay so quickly after everything that has happened, you’d have a real reason to worry. So don’t make me feel guilty for not being okay. I’m self destructing. I’m going to be for a little while. But at some point, I will fall back in love with myself, and I will pick myself up off the floor like every other time, and I will be okay. So, let me not be okay for a little while. It’s normal to not be okay when you have a broken heart, but it’s not okay to shame me for not being okay yet.