I’m an Introvert Married to an Extrovert and Somehow It Works
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Friendships

I’m an Introvert Married to an Extrovert and Somehow It Works

We are polar opposites in so many ways, but alike where it matters.

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I’m an Introvert Married to an Extrovert and Somehow It Works
Photo Credit: Brooke Bowman

I've never been one for the spotlight. Even though I was a cheerleader for 15 years and spent a ton of time performing in that arena, I was comfortable in the setting only because I was part of a larger group. On my own, I'd much rather read a book all day in a cozy coffee shop than give a big presentation, attend a networking event or even make a personal phone call. I'm shy and reserved, even when you get to know me.

My husband, on the other hand, was the star of every school theater production from 2001 to 2004. He is outspoken, opinionated and always up for a good time. In other words, he is the exact antithesis of me and someone I would have never dared to date. That was, at least, until my best friend insisted that I give him a shot. He was best friends with her boyfriend and we decided to go on a double date to play mini-golf and see a movie. Of course, as it always goes in both real life and the movies, my best friend wasn't able to make the date, so we went solo.

I remember coming home that night and telling my parents, who were waiting up, that I had never met someone who I flowed with quite so naturally. I had been on other dates before and every time, the conversation was forced, and there was inevitably that moment or two of dead silence, when even a napkin fluttering on the table was a welcome interruption. In the past, I had come home with an uninterested shrug, even more confirmed in my belief that maybe I wouldn't find "the one" until college or even after that. I became used to the let downs and expected all the disappointing awkwardness.

With him, however, I was myself in an instant. He made me laugh, kept me on my toes and was genuinely interested in every single thing I had to say. We never stopped dating, and just last week, we celebrated our 10-year wedding anniversary, which just happened to coincide with our 15-year dating anniversary.

For our engagement, he planned an elaborate scavenger hunt in which he drove me around to several places in our small hometown that were meaningful to us. We went to the gas station where we always stopped for slushies, the park where we had our first kiss, the mini-golf spot we'd had our first date, and a few more. It concluded with a grand proposal outside of the old Jamestown library, where we'd both agreed we had fell in love with each other as we danced to big band music on the sprawling lawn under the stars. He pulled out the engagement ring, got down on one knee and practically shouted his admiration for me. After I happily agreed to spend the rest of my life with him, he opened the large doors to the library and inside stood every single one of our friends and family members, ready to celebrate our new union with a huge feast. It was over-the-top, expressive and so very much like the love of my life.

Now? We have two toddlers running around the house. Our daughter is outgoing and has never met a stranger, much like her papa. She brings flowers and little handmade notes to her teachers every morning and is generous to a fault. Her brother, on the other hand, is more like his mother. He's quiet and reserved and more likely to find a book and spend time in our reading chair than to chant boisterously and make a scene. It's been so fun and so interesting to watch them grow and see which elements of our personality they have.

At the end of the day, my husband and I make it work because, though we are polar opposites in so many ways, we are aligned on the big stuff that really matters. We have the same, deeply-rooted views on religion, family, the future and the present. We share a moral compass and both consult each other on every major decision, confident that we can find an agreeable path forward. Our families are alike and live within three miles of each other. We grew up just two roads away from one another but didn't know it until high school. We both love small towns (especially ours), old farmhouses (especially ours) and raising our children where the corn grows high.

I'll be the first to admit that I would have never given him the time of day had I not gotten that nudge from my best friend. I thought he was cute, sure, but would never be interested in a wallflower like me. She's still my best friend to this day, and I thank her every time I see her for pushing me gently in the right direction. Through this experience with him, I've learned that our personality is a major part of who we are, but it is not all-encompassing. I'm quiet, but I have opinions. I mainly keep to myself, but I can be emboldened and confident when I need to, especially if it concerns my children. I may not say much, but I can write a sternly worded email better than anyone in a 20-mile radius.

I'm calm and collected and know exactly what I want. I wanted to find my soulmate back then, and I truly believe I did. We are nothing alike in so many ways, but we are on the same page where it counts. He brings me out of my shell, and I encourage him to take pause and consider the next step before takes it. He's given me almost two decades of pure joy and I know he'd say the same about me. Turns out, going just a little out of your comfort zone truly can open up a world of possibility and wonder.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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