I have been a stay at home mom for over 8 years. I am a mother of 3 boys, ages 8-4 and 7 months. There have been so many people that tell me that being a stay at home must be great because I have so much free time on my hands. And that I can do whatever I want throughout the day. But they couldn't be more wrong.

My day starts in the early morning hours because my 7-month-old is still getting up every 2-3 hours, so I'm feeding and changing him throughout the morning. My day really gets started at 6 a.m. This is when I get my 8 and 4-year-old up for school. While they are getting ready I'm making lunches and breakfast for them.

By 7:30 a.m. my husband is out the door with the 4-year-old taking him to school and then going to work. I make sure that my oldest is getting on the bus. I try to sit down and eat and drink my coffee but my baby wants to be picked up and played with, so by the time I do get to eat and drink my coffee it's cold.

I have to run errands and clean my house. And truthfully, there is nothing about my day that is mine. It's all about my children. I am lucky to even get a shower at a decent time, and when that does happen it might be a 5-minute shower if I'm lucky.

Having 3 kids and being a full-time student makes little time to get the house clean, so most days there is at least one room that's a complete mess. There is just not enough time in the day to get everything done, so I have to pick and choose what to get done that day and hope that it stays clean for at least a little while. My living room is the room that is usually the one I'm always picking up the most. Even when my son is down for a nap I'm lucky to get homework down or just sit for 5 minutes, because he knows when I'm trying to just relax for a minute and will wake up and start crying.

After getting all my errands done, I come home to get the baby fed and down for a napping, hoping he stays asleep for at least an hour so I can get something done. He gets up for lunch and I try to clean while he plays and by 2 p.m. I am leaving to go get my 4-year-old from school. We get home and 40 minutes later my oldest is home. Then it's time to help them with their homework.

I hear, "Mom can I have a snack?", "can I watch this; no I want to watch that." And so the fighting over the TV begins.

By the end of the day, I'm so tired and still don't feel productive.

Then there are times you feel isolated because you are in the house and only around kids most of the day, I have about 3 friends and finding time to hang out with them is not easy. I haven't had a girls night out in a long time.

When I do get a few hours to yourself on the weekend all you want to do is be by yourself. You don't want to be around anyone because you have had a week full of kids screaming and yelling and fighting and yelling "mom" over and over again.

There are times that I feel judged by people. I will get looks because maybe I don't look very put together and my hair is a complete mess and I'm wearing the same shirt I was wearing the day before. I am just looking like a hot mess that day, I'm not wearing any makeup. And I can't really even tell you the last time I put on makeup.

I love my kids, but for the past 8 years, I have only felt like a mom and wife. Before getting married and having kids I worked a full-time job, and I like working and being productive. And I'm not saying I'm not productive through the day, just saying I'm not doing something or being productive for me. I feel like I have lost my own identity and only seeing the mom and wife and nothing else.

I love my kids and husband, but being a stay at home mom can be draining at times, and all moms and stay at home dads need a break too. We need to find a balance to not just be the mom and wife and have our own identity.