We do not need to feel like we are constantly in control during all times. Although every person has a right to their autonomy and a need to express his/her true personality, this does not insinuate that we must always have control over every situation.

The world is massive space that constantly reminds us that each of us are individuals that can only live for a certain amount of time. During that time, we naturally want everything to go “our way.” No one likes the feeling of disappointment or regret, and we can assume that “our way” won’t cause disappointment and regret. There is an illusion that having control over a situation will grant us happiness, but in reality we don’t always know what actually makes us happy.

So we assert what we want by asserting “our way.” The fear of losing opportunities can make people antsy because we may never know when another one will come along. We start to believe that perhaps everything is life is based on conditions that we have to force to exist to get what we want.

This is because we gravitate towards what we think will make us most happy, and sometimes that means thinking that “our way” is the best way. However, sometimes there is a bigger picture than what we see that could make us even happier. The truth of the matter is, we do not always know what will make us happy.

Once someone feels like they have control over a situation, they may want to maintain it at all costs. This is called the status quo. When something brings the potential for the status quo to change, the need for control may prevent any change to the status quo.

The problem is that for something to grow, the status quo must evolve. Evolution cannot occur without change, which implies that the status quo must be organic instead of static.

Control does not make people happy with a sense of fulfillment, understanding does. Because people are not given an accurate education over how their brain functions or what gives them a sense of fulfillment and what does not. People are educated to understand general subjects like history, science, math, and literature, but they are never educated on what gives them fulfillment or how to understand their own behavior.

Because people are not educated on why they act in the manner that they act, they feel out of control. Because they feel like they cannot control themselves, they project that need for control onto situations and other people. If people were given better opportunities to understand themselves, they would not feel the need to have too much control over others.

Because people cannot always personally define their own identities without understanding themselves, the closest they can come to feeling any sense of fulfillment is through the illusion of control. Since times is always moving, things are constantly changing, control over anything is a mere illusion that we have created in response to the emptiness of not understanding ourselves. The only true “control” we can have is over our own behaviors, mindsets, outlooks, attitudes, and the agency to manifest our desires and use discipline to acquire more skills.

We don’t need control, we need understanding. The more we understand ourselves, the more capability we have acquired. The more we understand ourselves, the more liberated we are from illusions like control.