For those who don't know me personally, I am biracial. My mom is white from America with an Irish background, and my dad is black from Trinidad (and Tobago). Growing up, I've heard many ignorant things regarding my race and my appearance, but I couldn't blame anyone because we were just kids, it's not like we knew better.
However, whenever I meet someone new today, I still hear those stupid remarks in one way or another. It has come to the point where it doesn't shock or offend me anymore, but I sigh and reluctantly correct them or explain to them how genetics work. So, I have decided to comprise a list of six ignorant remarks I hear pretty much every time I meet someone new.
1. "But you don't have 'black people' hair..."
This is the one I hear the most and it annoys me the most. What constitutes 'black people hair'? An Afro? Cornrows? A flat top Afro? Let me tell you a secret, your hair doesn't confirm your race. Yes, it is normal in the black community to have kinky, curly hair, but not all black people have that type of hair. I just so happen to have wavy hair naturally, sometimes when styled, my hair looks straight. I can see why people are confused, but the fact that people think that the texture of my hair confirms my race truly baffles me.
2. "Why are you so white though?"
I never know how to answer this question. I usually hit back with a snarky comment like "Girl, I don't know, ask my DNA". Like, did you take 7th grade science? Why do I need to dumb down the science of genetics to you? My mom is white, my dad is black, and I came out tan. I don't understand what people expect, there are biracial people who are even lighter than I am. There is no one perfect shade a biracial person can be!
3. "That just can't be your dad! Is he your stepdad?"
Sometimes, I love hearing absurd questions like this because I need a good laugh. What confuses me about this comment is, why can't he be my father? I'm not trying to make accusations, but it almost seems to be that people don't want to believe that I'm half-black. As if being black is a bad thing. Yes, the black community has gone through the ringer multiple times in U.S. History and even still today, but I can assure you that it is not a bad thing to be black. The abundance of pride and love black people have for their race and culture is absolutely amazing to see.
4. "So were you adopted?"
This one always takes me a while to process, especially when it's the first question they ask. I always found this question somewhat offensive. It usually comes when I show them a photo of my parents because they didn't believe me at first. I don't know how people come to the conclusion that I was adopted because I always hear claims of how much I look like my mom. I have no hostility towards adoption or those who were adopted, but it's frustrating to be asked this question so many times.
5. "I never would've guessed! I thought you were [insert assumed race here]!"
Okay, this one never offended or annoyed me at all. In fact, I kinda find it fun to hear what people think what race I am. I usually hear that I look Hispanic/Latino, but I've also heard that I look Polynesian. Thus, confirming my self-made claim that I am racially ambiguous. However, I do question why is my race the first thing people assume about me, or even why are assumptions made about me? I will never understand why knowing others' race or cultural background is so important to some people.
6. "Which side do you identify more with?"
This is one I don't hear as often, but when I do, I usually reply with a snide, bitchy comeback. This is because this has to be the most absurd thing I've ever heard. The idea of siding with one identity is utterly toxic. This is kind of like asking a bisexual person if they go after guys more or girls more. There is such a thing as identifying as two races, and (shocker) it's becoming more normalized in the States. I proudly identify as a black AND white American.
To close, this article's intent isn't meant to be a rant piece or to belittle anyone for asking questions like this. I don't blame people for their curiosity nor should anyone else. However, if you have said any of these six comments/questions to anyone who happens to be multiracial, understand that it is not racist, but it is ignorant to say things like this and people will get offended easily by any of these comments. Remember, asking the right questions is the best way to overcome ignorance.