I like to consider myself a relatively open-minded person. Yes, I do like to get the last word in whenever a heated topic arises, and maybe, just maybe, I come on a little strong when it comes to a topic to which I am completely devoted and passionate. But, at the end of the day, I find value in one’s ability to express his or her own individuality and personality in whatever way fits according to the lifestyles and values chosen to live. Now, more than ever, society has been shown how strong the love for freedom and free expression can be when given a fair chance at success and prosperity, as witnessed through the long overdue nationwide legalization of gay marriage, and even more recently, the attention and support the transgender community has received with the public transitioning of Caitlyn Jenner.
Not one to decide whom someone has the right to love or to be, I proudly support these defining moments of success that our country has finally realized to be both naturally humanistic and necessary. Perhaps it comes with my generation’s general liberalism and acceptance that makes me question why someone could ever think of him or herself so highly as to assume the right to control the private actions of another human, or basic naivety that keeps me from seeing that some lifestyles will always be ridiculed by another, but I just find myself uncomfortable with the thought of a person intentionally hurting another based on sexuality, sexual orientation, or any other hot-button topics that loved to be thrown around in aggressive debates. I’m not ignorant. I know discrimination towards these specific groups exists and is acted upon every day. I had just never witnessed it, myself.
Until now.
I came into Starbucks today to unveil my inner hipster, sip on some tea and write a short, little article for The Odyssey, a routine I have developed throughout the summer. As I was looking over past articles, trying to find inspiration to get me through my next deadline, I found myself with an incredible sense of writer’s block and discouragement. Completely oblivious to my surroundings, apart from the conversation at the table in front of me between three adults who I just happened to turn my music down to listen to, I was suddenly intrigued by the change of tone and attention of which their discussion held. Out of nowhere, the topic changed from Florida vacation plans to snickering, Caitlyn Jenner cynical remarks, and an overall sense of negative judgment. Then, in an instant, I came to realize what caused their sudden change in attitude. Through the doors of the café came a man dressed in a dress, wedges, and carrying a purse.
On my own, my face has a tendency to rest in a less-than friendly state (I am the resting b*tch face queen), and I have been told more than once that I should never become a poker player, solely based on the fact that I show every single bit of emotion on my face. So, I can only imagine how I looked as I sat in complete shock of the blatant disregard of respect for the man who these three individuals showed when they not only gawked, but maliciously smirked with the intention of bringing attention to their lack of approval of his simple presence.
After looking around for hidden cameras, as I was convinced John Quiñones was about to tell me I was on an episode of “What Would You Do,” I began searching for a way to relay just how distasteful I felt about them without causing a scene or drawing more attention to their ignorance. Amazingly, though, the man in the dress took care of it for me.
Coffee in hand, he walked past the table with the three children (according to their maturity), and at that moment I expected an outrage to ensue. If I was so angry, and I was an outsider to the exchange between the two, then he had to have been infuriated, preparing for a battle with them. At this point, I was mentally begging for a scene to be caused, just so I could jump in and add my two cents into the confrontation. But, what happened next exhibited more strength than anything I could have fixed up in my over-drawn, aggressively-tuned mind.
He smiled. "Have a good day."
I turned my music back up after he said that. There was nothing to listen to anymore. The table remained silent.
To the three individuals at the table who chose to bully an innocent man, thank you for reminding me what not to do. Thank you for reminding me how foolish it is to belittle someone based upon appearance, sexual orientation, or anything else that differentiates someone from myself. Thank you for giving everyone at Starbucks that day a glimpse at how sad it truly is to be ignorant.
To the man in the dress, thank you for teaching me how to maintain self-respect, poise and dignity when faced with adversity. Thank you for teaching me that confidence is not wanting other people to like and accept you, but knowing that you will still love yourself even if others do not. Thank you for addressing such ignorance in a way that put your three bullies in complete silence and a state of shock from which I think they are still recovering. Thank you for showing everyone in Starbucks that day that we are capable of so much more than old-fashioned ignorance and discrimination. To the man in the dress, you taught me more in four words than I have come to understand in 19 years. To the man in the dress, you are what is becoming so amazing about this country.
To the man in the dress, thank you.
