A movement started by students nationwide, #IfIDieInASchoolShooting, to shed light once again on the topic of gun violence, On many occasions, I cannot stroll through my Twitter timeline without seeing at least one tweet related to this hashtag. Honestly, should I be so surprised? On average, there has been one school shooting every week this school year. I'd like to think that with tragedies like Parkland, powerful movements like March For Our Lives, and a national outcry would be enough to make a change. There are young lives being lost. Students. Students like me, going to school, trying to be the best versions of themselves. Why? Why does this keep happening? Why are we allowing this to continue? I shouldn't have to fear my safety, let alone my life while attending school.
Quite frankly, 280 characters aren't enough for me to say what I have to say.
I want my loved ones to politicize my death. I want everyone to recognize my long last name and know that the government doesn't care about our nation's youth if they allow another kid to die. I want the names of those who are sellouts to the NRA and have everyone flood their office with voicemails saying how they suck and could have prevented this. Tell them for me that their thoughts and prayers mean nothing to me, followed by some profanity of your choosing. Tell them I hope they always step on gum; I hope went it rains, they don't have their umbrellas handy on them; I hope their coffee is never exactly how they'd like it; I hope they'll never have to go through what my loved ones go through because I would never even wish this upon my worst enemy. I want change. I've always wanted change. I am not for the anti-second amendment agenda but I am for an anti-machinery that's easily accessible for evil intentions. Stricter gun laws aren't hurting anyone but selfish, egotistic individuals. C'mon. I especially want the ones fighting for justice for me to ignore the selfish, ignorant trolls online, they suck too and aren't worth your time. Majority wants change.
I want you to donate my organs even though my license says otherwise. I had a different mindset at sixteen and never changed it. I wanna be cremated and planted so I can bloom into something. If there's a vigil for me light up apple cinnamon candles, they're the best kind of candles. I want everyone to know I love them and things will get better, eventually. I want my parents to move back to Thailand and enjoy the rest of their lives the best they can. I want my best friends to take a shot of vodka on my birthdays, even though they hate it. Most importantly, I. Want. Change.
I'll never be able to travel around the world and end up in Greece. I'll never attend my best friend's weddings, or even have a wedding of my own and eventually have tiny little mini me's. I won't get the opportunity to see my favorite band, Paramore, live anymore. I'll never know if I would've been accepted into a physician assistant school. I'll never know if my writing was good enough for me to get a job post-grad. I won't live to see graduation. I won't get to finish my honors thesis. I'll never get to know the feeling of having a dog of my own. I won't be able to comfort my boyfriend and best friends when this all goes down. I can't tell them my corny jokes and assure them it'll be okay. I can't hold my mom when she sees me on the news and can't bear the thought of me suffering. My dad won't want to get up and move but I need him to. How we always talked about how tragedies like this need to stop; How they always worried about me everytime I walked out the door; How we hoped for a change. We want change.
Too many victims and families who have suffered enough. Too many prayers and thoughts that seem more like fuel than fire, for nothing changes but a stoplight on this hot, controversial topic: gun control. Our nation is becoming desensitized to mass shootings and overlooking the innocent lives that are being taken away, some who are students. Answer me, when will enough be enough? There must be a change.