September 15, 2017. I remember that day so vividly like it was hours ago. On that night the only Grandfather I knew in my lifetime was called to his heavenly home. The family stood around him as he passed and no one can ever prepare you for a moment like that or to be called out of no where saying "come home as soon as possible" because they know he isn't going to make it much longer.

For my own mental health struggles I began therapy sessions with a new counselor. She has been extremely helpful in breaking down how to go after my wants and needs out of the sessions. This past week I spoke to her about how I was never really able to grieve properly. When my Granddaddy passed I had just began college with all new roommates and I couldn't just cry whenever I wanted or so I thought. As I have heard all my life, everyone grieves differently, but where does one begin? My counselor told me to start piece by piece. For this week my goal was to write out what advice Granddaddy would give me about stress, hard times, and just daily life advice if he was alive right now.

When I think of what advice he would give me for certain scenarios I tend to chuckle a little. He always had something funny to say that made everyone laugh. For advice on that "girl stuff" he would ask if we wore all those tutu things, but given the chance he would dress up with us. Never did my Granddaddy not have on the news, so to ask him what I should do because I have never voted before we would most likely end up having a news show marathon and newspaper reading on making the best informed decision possible...while of course wearing his Obama smoking weed t-shirt that wrote "DOPE" on the bottom. And for the topic he just loved the most...boys. "I thought you were gone marry that boy" he would say. But on a more serious note, I wish I could introduce him to the boyfriend I have now who I adore. He would joke and laugh with him. I wish he could sing 'Wooly Bully' for him. It breaks my heart that one day in the future my Granddaddy won't be present on my wedding day. He would tell any boy "Let them do that woman stuff."

Though my Granddaddy may be gone from this Earth, he still lives in the hearts of all who loved him. He is still so present in my day to day life. I think about him all the time and there is so much I wish I could share with him.