You notice the kid in the back of the class. The quiet one. The one who doesn’t speak unless spoken to. Many ignore him, pretend he’s not there, but you know. You’re aware. Today, though, you don’t notice him. Not because you’re caught up in your own world or trying to fit into the “let’s all ignore him” crowd, but because he isn’t there.
You notice the kid who plasters on a smile every day. The popular one. The one who tries to make friends with everyone in the room. Many admire her, pretend to be her, but you know. You’re aware. Today, though, she isn’t smiling. Not because you’re watching the crowd of those trying to follow her moves or trying to fit into the “I want to be her” crowd, but because she isn’t there.
You notice the kid at the center of the worst attention always. The bigger one. The one who eats lunch alone. Many make fun of him, pretend to be insulting alternate versions of him, but you know. You’re aware. Today, though, you don’t notice him. Not because people aren’t still making comments or trying to find the most offensive jokes for the day, but because he isn’t there.
You notice the kid coming out of the restroom stall with puffy cheeks. The petite one. The one who tries as hard as they can to be the most unnoticed individual in the room. Many are rude to her, pretend to throw homophobic comments at her, but you know. You’re aware. Today, though, you don’t notice her. Not because people aren’t still talking about her coming out or trying to find out who then she finds attractive, but because she isn’t there.
And you notice the many, many others – many with stories of their own – gone, taking the truth to the story with them.
Almost.
Your heart is heavy. You know what happened. You saw the signs piling on top of each other in the days leading up. You saw the pain flash across the faces of those being ridiculed, bullied, hurt. You noticed the consistent look of hopelessness in the eyes of each victim. You are the person who watched their story unfold before coming to an abrupt end. But yet, that is all that happened. You watched without helping. Without interfering. Without stopping.
It’s time. Too many words go unsaid. Too many times no one helps. Too many times the signs are ignored until it’s too late. Too many lives have been lost. It’s time to start saying what you feel. Tell people you love them. Care about people you don’t know. Step in when you see something that isn’t right. Always ask people how they’re doing. Be sensitive to others. Be a friend, an ally. If you think there could be signs, step up. Too many times people either notice but don’t speak or just don’t notice in general. If you don’t notice, then here are the signs:
Suicidal Thoughts
Substance Abuse
Anxiety
Hopelessness
Withdrawal
Mood changes
Giving away personal belongings
Loss of interest in previously enjoyed activities
Neglect of self
“Tying up loose ends”
Unusual peace after a period of the above characteristics
You never know what someone else is going through. You can never be right inside of a person’s mind. Don’t add to it. It’s time to be mature, to be better. It’s time for a change.
That change starts today.