If you are in pain, reach out. The kind of pain I am referring to is not physical. It is emotional. It cannot be seen; it can only be conveyed through actions. Yet that does not make it any less real. The complex interactions of our hormones-and hormones are very real- play a role in the manifestation of our emotions, and emotional pain can be extremely debilitating. It can be almost as- if not more- debilitating as physical pain, and sometimes it is a demon that cannot be faced alone.

Therefore, reach out.

“What?” you ask. “Reaching out for emotional help is unacceptable in our society.”

“But,” I reply gently, “it should not be.”

Tell me: Why is it that many people are so quick to help those with broken bones and shun those with broken hearts? So quick to say “suck it up” or "stop overreacting" when some of the same people would feel hurt if someone else dismissed their feelings so casually? Where is the compassion in that? What is worse is that oftentimes we even do this to ourselves, convinced that our emotional pain does not matter.

Scientific studies have demonstrated that emotional and physical pain activate the same brain regions, so why is the former disregarded? Tell me. So many people house broken hearts but fear reaching out because they do not want to be seen as weak. Male, female, or whatever gender you classify as, at the end of the day, we are all human- a bunch of flesh and bones and internal chemical reactions. We are all human, and we feel. Many of us have experienced severe emotional pain at one point and would have loved to have someone to aid us through the healing process, to just give us a hug. But we did not reach out because we feared the vulnerability that comes with self-exposure. We stayed quiet because we are aware that not everyone has our best intentions at heart, and we did not want to give anyone the power to damage our broken hearts even more. Or, the biggest reason for some of us, we feared becoming a burden.

Fear, fear, fear. So much fear.

It is powerful, yes, but please reach out.

Where?

To a friend you trust. There is strength in vulnerability. There is healing in comfort from a friend. And as someone who means the world to me said, vulnerability between friends deepens bonds. However, if you are dealing with deeper issues such as feeling suicidal, please, please reach out to a therapist so you can get the treatment you need. I almost didn't include this- and in no way do I mean to say your friends won't want to support you if you are dealing with these deeper issues- but speaking from experience on both ends, it can be easy to start depending on that friend who is willing to listen, and it can be stressful and exhausting listening. While that friend might be good for a long hug and letting you know that they love you, in cases such as these, they. cannot. solve. your. problems. No matter how much they want to. And that is okay because you still do not have to be alone in your battle. There are people who are specialized to help you and want to help you. You are not beyond saving.

For the ones who prefer to remain anonymous, I completely understand that, and there are online support groups where you can find solace. There are people who are struggling with similar issues and can empathize with you. Yes, there are.

Do not fight your battles alone if you do not have to.

In return, if one day your demons are gone and you have the energy to do so, be there for the person who was there for you if he or she ever needs your emotional support. Don't forget to give that therapist a "thank you" for listening even though they get paid. While help is a gift, the golden rule demands we “do to others what [we] want them to do to [us],” and compassion and empathy beckon us to the sides of those who are broken. Life is a beautiful cycle of giving and receiving, so be healed and hopefully, one day, heal others.