Imagine if you were an angsty teenager going to the beach for the first time in your life with your friends. This story depicts just that. Let it take you into another world featuring a plethora of satire and an unhappy, lazy, video gamer experiencing the reality of life from outside the comfort of a home. Entitled, "The Grass is Greener on the Other Tide".

It would not be my first time out of the house, even though my friends tease me that I will someday be the world’s most well-known couch potato. Today we were headed to the beach, which I have avoided my whole eighteen years of living because of my deathly fear of water, and people. I had never even seen a beach before, or water. I'm so afraid of H2O that I close my eyes when I have to drink it so I don't freak out. I wish human beings did not need water to live, I think it's a rather ridiculous concept.

As our car arrived closer to the beach parking lot, I could feel my feet sink into the carpet of the vehicle, along with the twisting of my soul. I came fully clothed in my Duran Duran t-shirt, jeans, and a light jacket. The rest of my possè was in their bathing suits and sandals, but I didn't plan on swimming, so I brought my suit in a bag that I had awkwardly placed on my lap.

After arriving, we made our way onto the gritty sand turf towards the massive herd of humans. Even though the only thing touching the sand was my feet, I could feel it sticking to my whole body, and I could not help but check my neck for the tiny grains of hell. There is nothing more painful than walking on an endless trail of scorching mini rocks, I would rather walk on pins and needles. The smell of sweat and over-grilled hot dogs overwhelmed the thick, hot air.

Young teenagers were enjoying a dangerous game of trying to drown one another in the great white water, chubby middle-aged men were flopped face down onto their towels, and red-faced girls in bikinis were attempting to throw some sort of uncatchable, inflatable, colored ball. A boy with his suit on backward was scanning a calculus textbook under an umbrella, scattering seagulls screamed as they dove toward the deep blue, and loud cheering and cries of laughter roared into my ears. Couples stood out in the open kissing and hanging on one another as if they were not in public. For being a place known for paradise, this all seemed oddly flawed.

Peering out over the water, I spotted some men threatening their lives by going out so deep in the water near the floating “do not pass” signs. The ocean floor is probably 1000 feet deep where they are traveling out to, how can people be so dumb?

My friends decided to play a game of beach volleyball while I watched, I did not mind because this meant more stalling from going near the water. While sitting there, I came to the quick conclusion that the beach can be described as one of the most uncomfortable places on earth. The sun was beaming down hard on me, and I could feel the perspiration begin to form on my forehead and my armpits. I knew that if I took my jacket off I would be embarrassed by my large sweat stains, yet I was crippled in the heat.

Eventually, the wait was over. I changed into my suit in a tiny port-a-potty, and as my friends and I walked towards the water, I told them I would only stay near the shore. They all laughed at me and proceeded to sprint into the sea.

I began to walk along the shoreline near the long, dark, inky green seaweed crawling up the slimy, brown sand. The water was clear but chipped plastic bottles, cigarette butts, and fishing lines bobbled farther away from civilization, making the beauty distasteful. I closed my eyes tightly and tapped my pinky toe on the top of the water. It was ice cold, but it felt decent. Then, placing both feet closer to the low waves rowing towards me, let it hit my skin. I suddenly realized as long as I kept my balance and stayed away from all the beach rowdiness, I would be fine. I decided to sit in the sand and allow my legs to stretch out into the water. My friends came over after a very boring hour at the Saturday beach extravaganza. They began to tease me more about my fear, but I just ignored them. They are the real idiots for swimming in a sea of trash and multiple unidentified creatures.

After our day was over, I went home and pondered about all that had happened (which was not much). I'd say I slightly improved on my minor fear of H2O, but I will never again return to the gloomy outside world.