By the time this article gets published, the 2018 NFL Draft will be dead and gone. But at this moment, on a Wednesday afternoon I must confess: I've been having the same nightmare all week.
Here's how it goes:
I'm sitting on the couch watching ESPN. Mel Kiper is yelling about something. All of a sudden, music starts playing and Roger Goodell lumbers onto the stage
"Welcome to the 2018 NFL Draft from blah blah blah blah and with that the Cleveland Browns are on the clock."
*Goodell turns to leave the stage but doesn't make it too far when a bell rings and some underpaid intern hands him an envelope. He spins back around*
"With the first pick in the NFL Draft, the Cleveland Browns select Saquon Barkley, Running Back, Pennsylvania State University."
*Cleveland fans erupt, erroneously believing that a running back will save their sad-sack franchise from certain oblivion*
"The New York Giants [aka My New York Giants] are on the clock".
*I sit there on the edge of my seat wondering who my favorite team will pick. Goodell lumbers back onto the stage after what seems like an eternity*
"With the second pick in the 2018 NFL Draft, the New York Giants select Josh A--"
*I fall of the couch. I've died of disappointment before Goodell could even finish his sentence. RIP.*
Although I normally don't put too much stock into dreams, this one seems too true: if Josh Allen becomes a New York Giant, I most certainly will die.
Because the Giants could draft:
(a) Josh Rosen, who is clearly the most pro-ready but is now slipping because he doesn't eat, breathe, and sleep football.
(c) Baker Mayfield, who just won the Heisman and had a 189.4 career passer rating in three seasons at Oklahoma.
But they won't because all eyes are on the diamond in the rough Josh Allen. And to some extent I understand why.
In case you didn't know, Josh Allen is really big. I'm talking 6' 5", 237 lbs. That's huge, especially for a league like the NFL where everyone is generally small and on steroids. Moreover, big quarterbacks are always successful.
Plus, he has such a strong arm. Just watch him throw these 80-yard bombs at his pro day. His arm is so good that he consistently overthrows his lethargic receivers, which will do wonders in the NFL, a league that is very forgiving to one-dimensional QBs with big arms.
And if that wasn't enough, he's also incredibly smart. Remember when he mistook Dan Marino for John Elway? Only the mind of a true genius could recognize that Marino and Elway look identical even though on the surface, they look absolutely nothing alike.
But in all honesty, how would I react to seeing Josh Allen in a Giants jersey next year?
In the words of Etta James, I'd rather go blind.