If I Should Have A Child Someday, I Hope She Is Tall

If I Should Have A Child Someday, I Hope She Is Tall

For the girls made to stand in the back during class pictures, I have some advice for you.
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If should have a child someday, I hope she is tall. It’s not that I would love any gender, race, shape or size child any less than another, but I have some thoughts to share with tall girls on the subject of growing up.

Like when she is going through puberty: I would tell her the reason certain size pants, shirts and jackets do not fit her the same way they do some other girls is because she has longer arms, a longer torso and longer legs than other girls do. And because anything in a size “tall” also assumes that the wearer is not curvy in any way. Her size is perfect the way it is. To allow a label to define her self-worth is a recipe for an empty existence.

On dating: Attraction, be it physical, emotional and/or intellectual, one prominent concept defines the difference between a romantic interest and a platonic one. Physical attraction plays a prominent role when differentiating friendship and relationships. It’s not superficial to think so, but simply the fact that people are attracted to different physical attributes. If the attraction is not there than the relationship may not be either. Tall girls are supposed to be attracted to tall guys, they are supposed to only date tall guys. Otherwise, society tells us that it doesn’t look right. Society is wrong. We should be looking at the couple in how they see each other. So date tall or date short, date whomever you choose. Don't base that choice on society’s expectations.

When she is picking out shoes for prom: If you are in love with a pair of shoes, put them back on the shelf because they are too expensive not because the heel is too high. Your date, be it a young man or a young woman or just a group of friends, should not be a determining factor in your choice of footwear. I remember when I was at the mall searching desperately for kitten heels that went with my dress and ignoring the beautiful heels that were more than two inches in fear that my date would look short. In my exasperating search, a woman working at one of the stores said one very simple thing to me: “Girl, if you look good in the shoes why should anything else matter. You’re tall, and you should rock that sh*t." Since that day, I can proudly say that I have purchased and even ruined some beautiful heels of all sizes

Tall is beautiful.

To that assh*le at the party who asks who invited the Amazons: First of all, this guy single-handedly is trying to turn the concept of a planet of independent, confident, sexy and fearless women into an insult. I do not think I need to elaborate on how short-sighted that is. To that small-minded individual that tries to turn your gift of being tall into a negative thing, know that if you were actually an Amazon it would be all too easy to physically crush him into the tiny being that he is so that his outsides reflect his insides.

When you’re taking a group photo with people shorter than you: Don't you ever shrink for anyone. Don’t you ever slouch to make others appear taller. If the people you surround yourself with expect you to hunch down so they look taller, then you need new people. By physically shrinking you are basically saying to those people in the photo and the world that you are willing to make yourself smaller to build others up when you should be building yourself up and inspiring and supporting others to do the same. Never make your star less bright so others can shine. If you are perfectly who you are and comfortable with who that person is, people will come to you. In a group of friends there should be a balance and a desire to empower one another.

In no way is this advice only applicable for young tall women, but that is my point of reference when machete-ing my way through the jungle that is adolescence. That’s exactly it. I know these things because I experienced them firsthand and am guilty of learning them the hard way and eventually discovering for myself what it truly means to stand tall. As parents, for which I have no point of reference only my personal conjecture, we should want to start our kids off confidently, especially with the ever growing rates of depression and suicide. We should be celebrating self-confidence and with that perhaps future generations can accomplish more without focusing on the trivial.

Cover Image Credit: Shutterstock, FUSION

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Want To Be A Better Boyfriend? Try These 5 Tricks

4. Listen to her.

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Some days, it seems like girlfriends are constantly asking for more, and while they may be annoying, there are a few simple ways to stop her nagging and win her praise.

1. Pay attention to her.

I promise you, she is dropping hints every day. These may sound like "Awh, look at all the pretty flowers" or "I haven't been to Boba House in so long!"

2. Plan dates. 

Text her while she is at school or work, and tell her to be ready when you get home or by a certain time. Give her an idea of how dressed up she should be, but don't tell her where you're going. Then, take her to her favorite restaurant, one she's mentioned lately, or to a new movie she'd been looking forward to!

3. Pick up small gifts for her.

This doesn't have to be anything expensive, but next time you're at the grocery store pick up her favorite candy, or a small flower bouquet. Just something little that will show her you were thinking of her when you weren't together.

4. Listen to her. 

Ask about her day, and when she tells you what Sarah did at work, ask her the next day or a few days later if things got better. Take interest in her life and remind her occasionally refer back to old topics to prove you do listen.

5. Get her involved in your interests.

It doesn't all have to be about her! Ask her to watch the game with you, or to go out with you to hang with your friends. She wants to be just as involved in your life as she wants you to be involved in hers!

At the end of the day, every relationship is different. Take this advice as vaguely as needed, and learn your partner and what they expect from you! Happy dating! :)

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If You Don't Actually Live In Chicago, Stop Saying You Do

Chicago natives only.

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If you call the Sears Tower, the "Willis Tower" then you are not from Chicago. If you have no intellect on the colloquial language or slang that is used in Chicago, then you are not from Chicago. If the CTA was not your primary form of transportation at some point in your life, then you are not from Chicago. If you have never seen a chair in a parking space, or personally put out a chair to save your shoveled parking spot in the winter, then you are not from Chicago.

If your address does not include: 606, Chicago, IL then you are not from Chicago!!!!

I have heard a lot of suburbanites complain about how adamant Chicagoans are about not letting them say they are from Chicago. I understand that if you are from a small town that nobody has ever heard of, it might be easier to say that you are from Chicago, but we both know that isn't true. Instead, say that you live x amount of hours away from the city. The reason that Chicagoans become so upset when people not from the city say that they are, is so much bigger than we simply don't like sharing our city. I agree Chicago is an amazing place, and I couldn't imagine growing up anywhere else, but by claiming that you are from Chicago, when in fact you are not, you are discrediting the hardships and experiences that people from the city endure.

Living in Chicago comes with a lot of good things, but it also comes with a lot of bad, as well. Those who grew up in the suburbs will never understand what living in the city is actually like unless they have experienced it themselves. I am a Chicago Public School alumni and was in the system from preschool all the way to high school senior. In all of my fourteen years of being a CPS student, funding to keep school doors open has been a consistent problem. There have been countless times that the Chicago Teachers Union has threatened to go on strike for better wages and condition. There also have always been plenty of times that they actually have gone on strike costing students valuable class time that could have been avoided if CPS properly funded their employees and schools. School closings are also not uncommon in the city and they happen predominantly in low-income neighborhoods. The system makes it even more difficult for people in the hood to make better lives for themselves through education by limiting their access to education.

Quality education is hard to come by in the city and is permitted to a very lucky few. It is a real problem and a battle that suburban kids are oblivious to because having access to quality education is something they would never think twice about.

The fight for quality education is just one thing of many that suburbans will never understand. They could never fathom the thought of not being able to go to a certain area because it isn't safe. They couldn't think of having to help their friends grieve over another life taken from gun violence. They will never understand that we say "be safe" to everyone we say "goodbye" to because you never know when the dangers of the city will affect you next. They couldn't imagine seeing their families and friends uprooted from their longtime homes because gentrification has finally affected their neighborhood to the point that they can't afford to live there anymore.

Chicago to suburbans is a fun train ride downtown to go shopping on Magnificent Mile and visit the bean. It's taking pictures for their Instagram at a new coffee shop up north. It's going to the beach and playing beach volleyball. My city is so much more than that. My city is murals and art all over the building walls, and corner stores on every other block and dancing to house music all night long. My city hearing fireworks a month before and after the Fourth of July. My city is cultural festivals all summer long and driving down Lake Shore Drive with music blasting. My city is having the option to eat at Portillo's, Ricobene's or Connie's. Suburbans will never know my city so stop saying that you are from Chicago and act as if you do. It's about time that suburbans stop appropriating a culture that they have no idea even exists.

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