If Santa Were President
Politics and Activism

If Santa Were President

Claus 2016

5

The 2016 race for the White House has been everything but normal and predictable. To say things are heated and erratic is an understatement. At this point, it wouldn't be surprising to see pigs flying. Thus, the stage is set for history to be made. However, the next president of the United States is not going to be the champion of the political outsiders, the Wall Street crusader or the first women president. Haven't you heard? Santa Claus is coming to town and he's here to stay. Shake up your snow globe and take a look where America would be headed with the Clause campaign.

Foreign Policy/Defense

Undoubtedly, Santa has unmatched foreign policy and international relations experience. Who else has been able to fly to every country in 24 hours without being seen? He can see the world when it is sleeping, and knows when it's awake. He knows who is being bad and good. So ISIS, you better be good for goodness sake. Santa is not short of mistletoe.

The Economy

Mr. Claus is no rookie when it comes to supply, demand and efficiency. Producing toys for the girls and boys with a strict deadline is not an amateur business. However, as we know, Santa outsources his manufacturing to the North Pole where elves make up the workforce. Despite the lack of focus on job creation, Santa would lean towards "Reaganomics," with his flat tax. On tax day (now 12/24) Americans would be expected to ante up a cookie for $1,000 made.

Healthcare

This is candidate Clause's weak spot. The current state of this topic is already muddy and Santa's sweet tooth would not help the case. There would be increased dental needs and a rise in obesity-induced diseases leading to even more crowded doctor's offices. Sorry Mrs. Obama but, Mrs. Claus won't be re-writing the menu for school lunches.

The Environment

To Santa, the EPA might as well be the grinch. Not because of their "green" culture, but for their strong opposition to Christmas activities. For example, Santa's use of coal would have the environmentalists squirming. However, don't deem Mr. Clause a proponent of global warming too fast. The man lives at the North Pole and sees glaciers melting left and right. Why do think he has invested in magical flying reindeer? Imagine going to the airport to catch a flight on a reindeer-powered sleigh. Clean energy might have found its Christmas miracle.

America, the choice is yours. If these policies jingle your bells you might want to consider casting your vote for the man with the red suit and a beard as white as snow this November.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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