If It's Broken, You Fix It

If It's Broken, You Fix It

You don't just go out and buy a brand new life.
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When you find someone who makes your soul feel spiritually complete, you know that is your person. There is no thinking about it. There's no maybe about it, you just know. This isn't the feeling of butterflies fluttering or your heart racing, no, this feeling is different. This feeling is safety, it's pure, it's what makes you able to sleep at night. You feel a connection with this person that can't be altered, replaced, or found in anyone else. You see them, they're yours, not physically, mentally, emotionally, but they still belong to you in some way. Hundreds of years of the study of the brain and psychologists still can't explain the chemical releases in our brains that tell us that we "love" someone. You can try to run away from it, pretend it doesn't exist, try to move on, try to replace it. If you're being true to yourself, though, and what you know inside of you, all you want is to make this work. Even if it's "making it work" for the 13th time in the last three years.

These past 6 months have been the emptiest I've ever felt. Everyone has their ways of dealing with breakups. We all cope differently. Some of us drink ourselves to the point that we're calling the person we love at 3 a.m. just to hear their voice say "hello" one more time. Some of us try to replace those feelings and implant them in someone else until they realize that those replacements do nothing but make the real love stronger. Some of us write stories about sadness, poems about depression, post emotional quotes on our social media, share countless "I still love you, please come back to me" articles. Some of us cry. Some of us go numb. Some of us give up. A special some of us take on way too many jobs and tasks to fill their days to the point that we only feel "business" instead of sadness.

We all cope in levels and stages, but what we can't cope with is the feeling of nothing. Once you feel nothing, once you're dead inside, once you can't make yourself pretend you're OK anymore, that's the point that something needs to change.

I always try to say that if something is broken, we don't just throw it away and replace it with something newer and nicer, we fix it. Is that really the case though? Do we do that anymore? Back in my grandparents' day they used to say "you made your bed, now you have to sleep in it". But, in 2016, I feel that we are so used to having an excessive amount of things that just replacing something is no big deal. I have news for you, this doesn't work for love.

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I'm A Woman And You Can't Convince Me Breastfeeding In Public Is OK In 2019

Sorry, not sorry.

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Lately, I have seen so many people going off on social media about how people shouldn't be upset with mothers breastfeeding in public. You know what? I disagree.

There's a huge difference between being modest while breastfeeding and just being straight up careless, trashy and disrespectful to those around you. Why don't you try popping out a boob without a baby attached to it and see how long it takes for you to get arrested for public indecency? Strange how that works, right?

So many people talking about it bring up the point of how we shouldn't "sexualize" breastfeeding and seeing a woman's breasts while doing so. Actually, all of these people are missing the point. It's not sexual, it's just purely immodest and disrespectful.

If you see a girl in a shirt cut too low, you call her a slut. If you see a celebrity post a nude photo, you call them immodest and a terrible role model. What makes you think that pulling out a breast in the middle of public is different, regardless of what you're doing with it?

If I'm eating in a restaurant, I would be disgusted if the person at the table next to me had their bare feet out while they were eating. It's just not appropriate. Neither is pulling out your breast for the entire general public to see.

Nobody asked you to put a blanket over your kid's head to feed them. Nobody asked you to go feed them in a dirty bathroom. But you don't need to basically be topless to feed your kid. Growing up, I watched my mom feed my younger siblings in public. She never shied away from it, but the way she did it was always tasteful and never drew attention. She would cover herself up while doing it. She would make sure that nothing inappropriate could be seen. She was lowkey about it.

Mindblowing, right? Wait, you can actually breastfeed in public and not have to show everyone what you're doing? What a revolutionary idea!

There is nothing wrong with feeding your baby. It's something you need to do, it's a part of life. But there is definitely something wrong with thinking it's fine to expose yourself to the entire world while doing it. Nobody wants to see it. Nobody cares if you're feeding your kid. Nobody cares if you're trying to make some sort of weird "feminist" statement by showing them your boobs.

Cover up. Be modest. Be mindful. Be respectful. Don't want to see my boobs? Good, I don't want to see yours either. Hard to believe, I know.

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The Family I Didn't Know I Needed

To so many, our in-laws and spouse's family can be so annoying and frustrating, but to me they are the biggest blessing.

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I've known my wife for a very long time (since we were a little under 2 years old), and I've known her family for just as long, although not quite that well. I knew of them would be more accurate.

When we started seriously dating (not like middle school dating where you get dropped off at a theater and you're scared to death), I was introduced to her entire family. And it's big.

Look, I come from a small white family, because almost all of my grandparents passed before I arrived. I've never been used to massive families, crowded Christmas', or stuff Thanksgivings and reunions. I've never known really what it was like to be showered with love and gifts and opinions. I also never had to figure out what cousin or aunt or uncle everyone else was talking about.

That is not to say that I wasn't loved or blessed growing up. My family (and loved ones from all around the country) took care of me and loved on me so much, and for them I am forever grateful. I also had my church family (my Dad is a Pastor) that literally raised and supported me, and were always there. So please, do not think I am complaining.

I guess what I'm saying is that I just wasn't ready for the acceptance and love that was going to be shown to me from my wife's massive family. It caught me off-guard.

All you hear about is how hard it is to get along with another family and dynamic, but mine couldn't have been more simple and easy. Sure, we really standout. The average height for her immediate family is like 5'6 or so, and I'm 6'4, so you can always tell I'm the married-in one.

But, if I think about it, if I raised and loved on my wife like they did, I'm not sure I would be so okay with another guy jut waltzing into the picture. If I have a daughter (and I really do), it might be hard to invite another BOY into the family. So, I completely understand where they might have had difficulty. But I especially appreciate the love they chose to show me instead.

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