If It's Broken, You Fix It

If It's Broken, You Fix It

You don't just go out and buy a brand new life.
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When you find someone who makes your soul feel spiritually complete, you know that is your person. There is no thinking about it. There's no maybe about it, you just know. This isn't the feeling of butterflies fluttering or your heart racing, no, this feeling is different. This feeling is safety, it's pure, it's what makes you able to sleep at night. You feel a connection with this person that can't be altered, replaced, or found in anyone else. You see them, they're yours, not physically, mentally, emotionally, but they still belong to you in some way. Hundreds of years of the study of the brain and psychologists still can't explain the chemical releases in our brains that tell us that we "love" someone. You can try to run away from it, pretend it doesn't exist, try to move on, try to replace it. If you're being true to yourself, though, and what you know inside of you, all you want is to make this work. Even if it's "making it work" for the 13th time in the last three years.

These past 6 months have been the emptiest I've ever felt. Everyone has their ways of dealing with breakups. We all cope differently. Some of us drink ourselves to the point that we're calling the person we love at 3 a.m. just to hear their voice say "hello" one more time. Some of us try to replace those feelings and implant them in someone else until they realize that those replacements do nothing but make the real love stronger. Some of us write stories about sadness, poems about depression, post emotional quotes on our social media, share countless "I still love you, please come back to me" articles. Some of us cry. Some of us go numb. Some of us give up. A special some of us take on way too many jobs and tasks to fill their days to the point that we only feel "business" instead of sadness.

We all cope in levels and stages, but what we can't cope with is the feeling of nothing. Once you feel nothing, once you're dead inside, once you can't make yourself pretend you're OK anymore, that's the point that something needs to change.

I always try to say that if something is broken, we don't just throw it away and replace it with something newer and nicer, we fix it. Is that really the case though? Do we do that anymore? Back in my grandparents' day they used to say "you made your bed, now you have to sleep in it". But, in 2016, I feel that we are so used to having an excessive amount of things that just replacing something is no big deal. I have news for you, this doesn't work for love.

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8 Reasons Why My Dad Is the Most Important Man In My Life

Forever my number one guy.
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Growing up, there's been one consistent man I can always count on, my father. In any aspect of my life, my dad has always been there, showing me unconditional love and respect every day. No matter what, I know that my dad will always be the most important man in my life for many reasons.

1. He has always been there.

Literally. From the day I was born until today, I have never not been able to count on my dad to be there for me, uplift me and be the best dad he can be.

2. He learned to adapt and suffer through girly trends to make me happy.

I'm sure when my dad was younger and pictured his future, he didn't think about the Barbie pretend pageants, dressing up as a princess, perfecting my pigtails and enduring other countless girly events. My dad never turned me down when I wanted to play a game, no matter what and was always willing to help me pick out cute outfits and do my hair before preschool.

3. He sends the cutest texts.

Random text messages since I have gotten my own cell phone have always come my way from my dad. Those randoms "I love you so much" and "I am so proud of you" never fail to make me smile, and I can always count on my dad for an adorable text message when I'm feeling down.

4. He taught me how to be brave.

When I needed to learn how to swim, he threw me in the pool. When I needed to learn how to ride a bike, he went alongside me and made sure I didn't fall too badly. When I needed to learn how to drive, he was there next to me, making sure I didn't crash.

5. He encourages me to best the best I can be.

My dad sees the best in me, no matter how much I fail. He's always there to support me and turn my failures into successes. He can sit on the phone with me for hours, talking future career stuff and listening to me lay out my future plans and goals. He wants the absolute best for me, and no is never an option, he is always willing to do whatever it takes to get me where I need to be.

6. He gets sentimental way too often, but it's cute.

Whether you're sitting down at the kitchen table, reminiscing about your childhood, or that one song comes on that your dad insists you will dance to together on your wedding day, your dad's emotions often come out in the cutest possible way, forever reminding you how loved you are.


7. He supports you, emotionally and financially.

Need to vent about a guy in your life that isn't treating you well? My dad is there. Need some extra cash to help fund spring break? He's there for that, too.

8. He shows me how I should be treated.

Yes, my dad treats me like a princess, and I don't expect every guy I meet to wait on me hand and foot, but I do expect respect, and that's exactly what my dad showed I deserve. From the way he loves, admires, and respects me, he shows me that there are guys out there who will one day come along and treat me like that. My dad always advises me to not put up with less than I deserve and assures me that the right guy will come along one day.

For these reasons and more, my dad will forever be my No. 1 man. I love you!

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The Problem With Men

The damage of toxic masculinity.

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Toxic masculinity is deeply rooted in stereotypes held for the male population. It's characteristics are a constant outward appearance of being strong mentally and physically, a suppression of emotion, and a violent behavior to assume a presence of power. The problem with men isn't men themselves, but societies reinforcement of these qualities defined as toxic masculinity. Nevertheless, men are still responsible for their actions and should hold themselves accountable.

Toxic masculinity causes problems for everyone, but it is particularly harmful to women. It is a contributing cause to domestic violence, sexual harassment, and rape. The United States has begun to recognize these issues and people have come together to fight them. What becomes overlooked, is the damage toxic masculinity has on men. The constant need to be strong and conceal emotion is extremely harmful to mental health. We cannot all be strong all the time, but that is the societal standard for men. This can be a contributing factor of increased suicide rates and decreased mental health in the male population. The need to prove power through violence could also be a reason for the overwhelming amount of men to women in the prison population. Some examples of the lesser effects of toxic masculinity are the assumptions that boys cannot play with dolls or like princesses, that men cannot wear dresses or skirts, and that men cannot be interested in makeup or clothing. This greatly limits individuality and outer expression for men. Girls have gained the acceptance to play with trucks or like superheroes, women can wear pants, and can be interested in cars or tools. There is still a long way to go for women, but for men, the battle for these simple things has not even been won.

Toxic masculinity stems from the fact that men are still held as superior to women. To show emotion, or to be 'weak', or to do anything that makes them akin to women will undermine their societal superiority. Inequality of the sexes has led to the issue of toxic masculinity and it all comes from prejudice and discrimination against women. To fix toxic masculinity we have to address the issue of perceived inferiority of women. Men cannot get completely better until the problem that births all the rest, is solved.

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