My Personal Identity Crisis Being Different

When Asked What Defined My Identity As A Woman, I Was So Confident Until I Realized I Didn't Know

By definition, Identity is "the fact of being who or what a person or thing is" but what is that, other than being only skin-deep?

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One of my friends is doing a project for her Women in Gender Studies class and I volunteered to help her until I realized that I bit off more than I could even digest. Since she asked, I have been chewing on the question like a teething baby. It sat at the tip of my tongue for days until I realized the answer was something more difficult to say and explain than I thought. For those few days. I was at a loss for words and my mind was trying in every way to figure out the answer when it dawned on me that I honestly didn't know.

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My First thoughts were...

I am a 21-year-old white bisexual female.

I am a casual dresser, so much so that its like I dress androgynously.

I am hard to define something other than non-conformative.

I certainly do not want to say something like my body was created to be a baby machine or that I have fat on my chest that helps on that path in life. I wanted to answer in words other than biologically because I change who I am on a daily basis. One day I might wake up and want my breasts to be the reason I am a woman but right now, I desire a better reason.

I prefer sweatshirts to tank tops. But I prefer high heels to tennis shoes. At times I prefer function over appearance but there are times when I need appearance to define and embrace my love for a specific type of footwear. There are aspects about me that I contradict the social gender standards and it makes me so happy that I am not molded as gender norms want. But I am also really sad that because of gender norms and standards that I feel like I have to be non-conformative to set myself apart from the majority.

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I know who I am so I am happy and the answers were so simple. Defining myself by my body only because of biological reasons is a reason why women and men are separated by that invisible line we call bias. We want to be treated equally but we are the reason why that line is still there. We are proud to be a woman but men are proud to be men as well. No matter what sex you are, you should be able to define yourself beyond the facts of your body and more of your mind.

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What was my conclusion?

I am a college student.

I am a foodie with a sugar obsession.

I am the person I wanted to be when I was younger.

I am who I am and I am made up of more than you know but only I know it.

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