I Feel Too Much, But I Never Do Anything About It - I Hate That

I Feel Too Much, But I Never Do Anything About It - I Hate That

I tried to ignore it, but of course, I couldn't.


I'm not a person who thinks of themselves as a bunch of faults, but I do see them. I feel too much and hurt myself because of that. It's horrible. I hate it. I can remember each and every time I had feelings, over thought it, and ended up hurting myself. I tend to overthink this stuff all the time.

I could tell you about all the embarrassing stories of my "love" life or I could tell you about one specific one with detail. I'm going to do the second one.

I was in high school. There was this guy. We became friends and a crushed formed. One of my least favorite things, honestly. I would rather run through a cement wall than have a crush on a friend. It simply isn't enjoyable for me. There I found myself. My heart would beat faster than normal each time I talked to him. All of his weird little quirks made me smile even when they frustrated me.

I tried to ignore it, but of course, I couldn't. I would see him every day. Each time I saw him, I wanted to punch myself. He was the last person I wanted to like because I cherished our friendship. I didn't want to ruin it with this dumb crush I had.

Of course, I told my best pals because who doesn't do that? They told me to go for it because the worst that could happen is hearing "no." That's exactly what I didn't want to hear. If I asked him out, and he said "no" I don't know what it would do to our friendship.

So, I kept it to myself. It killed me. It was annoying because the only reason I didn't say something was because I worry too much. I could've done it, but I was scared. I could've listened to my friends, but I didn't want to ruin anything. If I could back, I would.

If I wasn't so scared, life could be totally different now. As many people say, everything happens for a reason, and although I don't know if I believe it, I can't be hurt from a breakup with this guy. Our friendship was perfect the way it was.

I just hope this is how it was supposed to be. I hope I didn't mess up. I hope he feels like being friends is the right choice. Crushes are weird and I really don't like them. Regardless, I will always love love. I think it's beautiful. I don't want to get hurt though. I'm scared. Hopefully, I'll get over that one day. For now, I'll write about these dumb crushes that drive me crazy.

Popular Right Now

To College Kids Bankrolled By Their Parents, You Can't Put 'Spoiled' On A Resume

Do you expect Mommy and Daddy to foot your AmEx Black Card bill forever?

Growing up, I never had things handed to me unless it was a present for a holiday or my birthday. I did chores for my allowance, I got a job as soon as I turned 16 and I paid for my very first car.

I worked every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday at a pizza place for minimum wage while my friends went to football games and hung out. I worked two jobs my entire summer before freshman year of college so I could take freshman year to just get acclimated to school.

By spring semester of freshman year, I was applying for jobs and planning to work full time all summer along with taking some online classes.

Currently, I am in school full time and work 30+ hours a week, on top of writing for two publications.

But let me tell you, there is nothing that makes me more upset than kids whose parents hand them everything.

I know kids whose parents hand them money for concert tickets, brand name clothing, $1,000 monthly rent and the works. And honestly? It infuriates me.

The worst part about it? Half these kids complain about how difficult their lives are and how stressed they are. Try working an 8-hour shift from 3 p.m. to 11 p.m. then having to get up at 5:30 a.m. the next morning to get ready for class, or going straight from class to work and trying to find time to get schoolwork done.

"Do your parents not care about you?"

I get that question all the time. They could pay for things for me, but they chose to teach me how to live like an adult and I truly appreciate it, even though it gets hard sometimes. They are always there to help me if I need it, but they do not spoil me.

I think everyone should have a job in college and have to pay for some things on their own. No, I'm not just talking about having a job for "pocket money."

Your parents pay for you to get a $70 manicure every 2 weeks and drop money in your account to spend at bars on the weekends? Good for you.

My parents pick up my phone bill and car insurance, but the rest is my responsibility. Rent, food, gas, clothes, school supplies, electricity, and anything else I want comes right out of my pocket.

I get that some parents just want their kids to focus on school, but honestly, without a job, I had way too much time freshman year. Why not use that time to work?

I know some people who have never worked a day in their life and it makes me wonder exactly what they expect out of the real world. Mommy and Daddy won't always be there to pay your Visa bill, honey.

You can't put "spoiled" on a job resume under previous experience.

Cover Image Credit: YouTube

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

10 Ways To Plan A Fun College Weekend That DOESN'T Involve Alcohol

If you're desperate to take a break from the bar scene.


As a college student, I can attest to the mass amounts of binge drinking that occurs on the weekends and sometimes weekdays of the semester. Every plan or activity seems to involve a fifth of vodka or a glass of wine. You can't tell me that a weekend of no alcohol doesn't sound like heaven on earth. If you can that's okay, we'll just entertain the idea.

Here are 10 things you can do to substitute a night out.

1. Grab a pizza and watch the sunset at a cool spot

Whether you go to school in the city, the country or near the beach, there is always a good spot to watch the sunset. Grab your favorite type of to-go food, a friend, a few blankets and have yourself a sunset.

2. Go on a food tour

Food tours are a great way to spend a Saturday night. These tours can usually be found in most cities and big towns. You sign up and pay online, meet up with the group and a guide brings you around to the best restaurants to try a sample of food from each place.

3. Take a trip

If the weather is nice, go to the beach. Take advantage of friends who have beach or even lake houses and spend the weekend relaxing. In the winter, do the same. Go skiing or snowboarding with some friends. There are so many winter activities, you surely won't run out of things to do.

4. Visit your local puppy store

This one is my favorite. Whether you're missing your own dog or you just love dogs, visit the pet store and have a day.

5. Have a "family" dinner or game night with all of your friends

It's so important to hang out with your friends when you're sober, so invite everyone over for dinner and games. Ask each person to make and bring a dish of something, it's fun to see what people will bring. Get out a deck of cards or an old favorite board game, there are endless game possibilities.

6. Rent a movie or go to the movie theater

Movie nights are the best, you're lying if you say they're not. Put on your favorite pajamas and fuzzy socks, and invite your friends over for a movie. If you're itching to get out of your apartment, go to the movie theater and pig out on candy.

7. Rent bikes or mopeds and ride them around

Over the summer, my friends and I spent a day riding rental bikes around Boston and it was the best Sunday I've ever had. You get to see the city so much better and a whole lot faster.

8. Go bowling

Bowling is so underrated. There is nothing better than getting together some of your most competitive friends and having a night at the bowling alley.

9. Take a yoga class 

Imagine how good you'll feel the morning after taking a yoga class... totally beats your usual hangover. If you want to be even more adventurous, try hot yoga. Hot yoga is HARD but you feel like a million bucks after a nice cold shower.

10. Spend a whole day shopping 

Let's be real, we all do this anyway.

Related Content

Facebook Comments