Throughout my life, I have always found that I never truly knew who I was or where I was going. There have always been a handful of hobbies and tasks that I enjoyed, but nothing specifically ever really stuck with me. I would always think that I had it all figured out. Then a year would go by and my future career goals would be 180 degrees in a different direction.
High school came and went, but the problem still remained. I applied to college as an undecided major, while all of my friends were dead-set on their future careers and were so ecstatic about being accepted into their specific schools.
I'd kept telling myself, "I'll figure it all out once I get there."
College arrived and I still remained clueless. I changed my major over three times and was beyond frustrated that I was still having such a difficult time trying to figure out what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. I didn't understand how everyone else figured it out so simply.
I was only eighteen years old — how was I supposed to know what I wanted to do forever? My dad would always say to me "I still don't know what I want to do with the rest of my life." This statement always left me frustrated. I would always think "What do you mean you don't know what you want to do? You already did it!" I could never seem to grasp what exactly it was that he was trying to help me understand.
Within the blink of an eye, it was as if everything changed. What always seemed to be just a random hobby turned into something that has changed my life entirely. I have learned that in life, we really don't get to choose what it is that we want to do — it chooses us. We could have our mind set on what we are going to pursue and then wind up taking a completely different path.
It may seem a little cliché or straight out of a sappy love novel, but what is meant to be will always find its way to you. And I'm not saying that because I believe it — I'm saying it because I have lived it. When you are a determined person who strives for the absolute best, you end up stumbling upon wonderful things that will lead you to incredible future life endeavors.
I finally understand the confusing message that my dad was trying to explain to me. There is no point in life where you know what exactly it is that you are going to do forever. You are constantly molding into a different version of yourself and changing your goals, dreams, and interests. Even though life has a way of making you feel as if you are supposed to know at a young age, you don't have to. Life is a process of trial and error and is all about trying different things and seeing how much you do or do not enjoy them. You're not supposed to know what it is that you want to do for the rest of your life, you're just supposed to know what you want to do now.