Panic, anxiety, all hitting me at once like a ton of bricks.
I was so excited for this trip to Italy. I really, really was. I had done all my research and felt safe and in the decision that I made.
But about an hour before boarding time, as I was sitting in the Emirates lounge, I started to panic. I'm going to a foreign country for five days all by myself. I was all of a sudden very scared and very nervous. And no, not the excited kind of nervous anymore.
My heart was beating out of my chest, I became very nauseous, to the point where I had to sort of cough to relieve some nausea. Regrets and second thoughts started setting in. I was already so homesick and had only been away from my room back in Clemson for twelve hours. I think that if I was traveling with someone, I wouldn't have been panicking so much and getting homesick so soon and easily.
Because everyone is in school and this was a last minute trip, no one was able to go with me.
Vincent and I talked, and we will go if he decides to not do a masters after graduating from undergrad from Clemson. My friend Jackie and I will go in September if he does decide to do his masters.
I will feel a lot less nervous and less homesick going with someone. I'm glad I at least tried though. I went as far as JFK airport from Charlotte airport, and I saw how I really felt about the situation the closer it got to boarding time.
My parents and brother were never happy that I was going to Italy alone. When I told them I was coming home, they were so relieved and thought that I made the right decision. My mom even said that she thinks it was my late Aunt Diane telling me to not to go.
Who knows, maybe if I ended up going, something bad might've happened to me.
Travel completely happy, don't travel 50% happy.