Dear Thyroid,

You took so much away from me. My confidence. My excitement. My willingness to take opportunities. Even my happiness.

You made me hate myself, my body and my surroundings. You made me not want to be here anymore.

You allowed me to push away friends and family. You allowed me to totally lose myself.

I went from being athletic,energetic, and outgoing to becoming someone who was always in pain and discouragement.

You forced me to look into the mirror at someone double in size, yet half of a spirit.

You took chunks out of my long, beautiful hair and made it become thinner and thinner.

It wasn't my body anymore, it was yours.

You took me to many doctors that told me it was just a phase of adjustment to college. You made me feel deranged. You made me feel irrelevant.

Because of you, I will never have a normal metabolism, brain, heart, liver, or even reproductive system.

Because of you, I'll never believe I'm beautiful.

Because of you, everything changed.

But,

I realized who will really stick beside me, no matter how much I push them away.

I gained a new perspective on depression and how I'm no where near being alone.

I pushed through even though you fought so hard to keep me back.

I found a boy who reminds me I'm beautiful, even if he has to tell me everyday until I believe it.

I appreciate my mother more than ever. Her patience is beyond me.

I understand just how lucky I really am.

I'd say you win, but that would be a lie.

Not so Respectfully,

Brenna Barber