A sea of people. A woman in her early fifties standing at the center of a large stage, a wooden cross behind her.

And that is why my children are the devil. Laughter. No, No, I mean it. If you don’t follow God’s commands, you lose the right to call yourself the children of God.

A guy sitting on the couch in front of a Television laughs hysterically. It’s 10am on a Sunday morning; coffee, biscuits and remote in hand, he tries hard to balance them as he cannot stop his uncontrollable laughter.

“Hey Nelle, you have got to come and see this. Your mom is just too funny. I love her.”

A voice from the opposite end of the room. “Good. Now my roommate also can join her fan following.”

Justin continues to watch as he dips his biscuit in his coffee methodically, smiling ear to ear.

Nelle enters, in a short black jumpsuit, hair tied into a messy ponytail, she plops next to him, cereal bowl in hand.

“Give it to me,” as she tries to snatch the remote from his hand.

“No way dude. Why else do you think I’m holding onto the remote like its dear life.”

“Stop ruining my Sunday Justin and just change the channel to anything. I’ll even tolerate that Runway whatever show you like to binge watch.”

Justin turning his head indignantly, “Hey! Heidi Klum is a goddess and you know it.”

“Yes. She is. So let’s watch her instead of my mother,” says Nelle still holding onto the remote.

“But your mother is my Sunday morning goddess.” Putting the remote on the other side of the couch, his frees his hand as he waves it in front of the Television “Say Hi to mommy.”

Nelle rolls her eyes, “Fine. I’m going to my room.”

Justin with biscuit in his mouth mumbles “Buft…it’s mfore fpun this pawy.”

“What?”

“It’s more fun this way. Besides, it’s the only way I get to know about you, your past, your present, your future. Hint, it’s not so good, you’re going to hell.”

Nelle walking away throws a pillow at his face, “I know. And oh! Hint, You’re a jackass, a selfish jackass.”

Justin follows her into the kitchen to get more biscuits and coffee.

Sound off the Television: Children of God, this week is an exciting week as the Lord has presented yet another opportunity for me to spread His word.

Nelle rolling her eyes, mouthing to Justin “What is it mom?”

I have been invited to the Trevor Noah Show as a guest speaker to talk about us—our church, our ministry and why we are an ever-growing church of more than 100,000 worshippers Sunday after Sunday. This is a great platform for us.

Nelle chocks on her cereal and Justin burnt his tongue sipping on his coffee too fast. She rushes into the living room and looking at her mother in the TV says, “What? How? Why?”

Justin follow her laughing and clapping, “Oh this is epic! You didn’t know, did you?”

“Ofcourse she doesn’t tell me. Ofcourse she announces it on TV. I have to find out from Andrew if he knows anything about this. If he did, that jacuzzi suite in hell better be ready for me today, cause I’m going to either kill her or myself.”

“In her defense, it is her church. Ofcourse she’ll tell them. And it’s Trevor Noah not some YouTube talk show. It is a big deal.”

Nelle dialing her phone profusely while talking to Justin, “Whose side are you on Justin? Pick a side and stick to it.”

“I’m just saying. Besides, if you had answered her calls you maybe would have known.”

Nelle glaring at Justin while talking to her brother over the phone, “Did you know mom….” She walks away into her mom, and bangs the door shut.

Justin goes back to watching the sermon. He laughs and claps in the middle.

Let us pray. Let us pray for strength to face this week, let us ask the Lord to shower His infinite grace and mercy so that we might walk in his footsteps everyday. At this time, I also ask you to pray for me that I might represent Him on the show….”

“He didn’t know either. He of course didn’t react like me. Instead he was all, that’s great, mom is getting the limelight she deserves, blah blah blah. I swear sometimes it surprises me that I’m the older one here.” She stops and looks at Justin who has his eyes closed and is pretending to pray along with her mom on TV. He opens one eye coyly to see if she’s looking. “Shhh…. Can’t you see I’m talking to the Lord?! How dare you disturb me!”

Nelle shakes her head in exhausted anger and sits next to him.

Amen.

“So, yeah, what were you saying?”

“Nothing. I hope you and my mom are happy.” Nelle says as she finally changes the channel to one that’s playing Friends.

As Chandler and Monica talk in the background, Justin takes his laptop. Looking at her, “You know what this means doesn’t it? We can go to the Trevor Noah Show. THE TREVOR NOAH SHOW! And it would be front-row tickets and we would get to meet him and…”

“Yeah, I’m not going.”

“Okay, okay, Nelle, I’m not asking you to reconcile and become the Gilmore Girls here. I’m asking you to just return one of her calls so that we can go THE Trevor Noah…”

(To be continued)