On Sunday, January 15th, 2017, at 3:31 pm, James and I broke up. It has been coming for a while now, well since Thanksgiving. And you know what? I am NOT okay. Yes, you read that right, I am not okay, and that's okay.
Let's start from the beginning in about two seconds:
September 10th, 2015: James and I got together
September 10th, 2016: James proposed, and I said yes
November 23rd, 2016: James broke off the engagement, and the fighting began
January 15th, 2017: James and I broke up
It's funny, isn't it? How one day someone who mean everything to you, can suddenly be gone? You wake up and expect that person to be next to you, or at Huntington, just a building or so down. But now....they are just gone.
Being at Huntington University, or any university really, it is hard because there is absolutely no way to avoid that person because you are still in the place where you met. For me, it seems that it is harder when passing than being in an actual class or building together. At least in class, I have something to keep my attention instead of being in the cafeteria or in the music building where there is no buffer. You stand there, looking like an idiot because you want to say something, anything to make their pain stop. But then you stop...
You don't have to make them feel better this time. This time, it's about you.
Anyone who knows me knows that I put everyone ahead of myself. I make sure everyone is safe, happy, warm, and knows they are loved, but this break up has taught me that I am important. This break up has me wonder if I lost my identity somewhere, and today, I have found it. I am strong, smart, and I am a girl with my own personality.
Today I stand as a changed woman. I was a survivor. Yes, I use to miss him daily but now, I'm learning to move on and be happy.
Happiness only comes if we let it come. I am letting mine come.