The reproductive health bill in New York has people celebrating the fact that pregnancy can be terminated up until the time they are born. I am not here to talk about ethical issues, but what happens to the women.
At 7 months pregnant, I was looking forward to the arrival of my son. I still didn't have his name picked out, but I had ideas and knew for sure that I wanted something that he could be a kid with and grow into adulthood with. I cannot tell you what started it, or how it ended but my husband at the time decided to pick a fight. There was yelling, no hitting, but his words hit like a blow. "You should have had an abortion." They rang through my head then, and they continue to run through my head to this day. My son is now 13 years old and he is an amazing and brilliant boy.
At the age of 16, I learned the realities of abortion. I went to a conference and the speaker shared her heart and experience. She was a young woman in an abusive relationship. Every time she got pregnant her abuser forced her to get an abortion. The numerous abortions did the unthinkable for this woman who desired to be a mother, they made her barren. She was able to get out of the abusive relationship eventually. It is she who now lives with not being able to have a child.
A dear friend of mine had repeat abortions, this is while being in an abusive relationship. Years later they stick with her because they are more than a medical procedure.
I found myself with an unwanted pregnancy when my son was 3 years old. I was still in the same abusive relationship. We were not rich, barely had enough money to make it through. The socioeconomic factors were all there. For me, there was not an option and being a married woman, the timing and the money didn't matter. I was pregnant, so I would have the child. It was only weeks into being pregnant and I started spotting. I had my first ultrasound and the heartbeat was there. Two weeks later it was gone, and I was told I had to get a DNC. A DNC is a medical miscarriage when the miscarriage doesn't happen naturally.
The DNC was initiated by a pill that caused me to start bleeding. I wasn't prepared for it and it was scary. I woke up from the inpatient procedure and I felt empty. I knew I was empty, and I could feel it. It's been over eleven years, and I can relive day like it was yesterday.
My experience is uniquely mine but I'm not alone. Women in abusive relationships are more likely to get repeat abortions. Whatever the reasoning is, because they were forced, because they don't want to bring a child into the situation, it is no longer their choice. Let's fix the real problem before we put a Band-Aid on it. Domestic violence and abuse are part of the problem., Some women see abortion as their choice, others know that their abuser will use it to keep them under their power.
The truth about abortion is that it is not a simple medical procedure. The power of choice comes with the responsibility of knowledge. If you are considering an abortion speak to someone who has nothing to gain from it. Talk to a person who has been through it themselves. There is more than meets the eye.