When you are a child, you are taught the basic qualities of how to become a kind, respectable, and decent human being. At a young age your parents probably taught you that 'honesty is the best policy' and that 'sharing is caring'. It was explained that with every action you execute, every decision that you choose, and every mistake that you make there are consequences, whether it be large or small. These life lessons and basic human qualities are taught and gained through life experiences, typically at an early age. From the moment you first stand up, you learn that it is okay to fall down, and from the second you speak your first words, you learn that misunderstanding is a part of life. As children, one's perception of the world is drastically effected by the environment from which they were raised. In any basic psychology class, you learn that every person is a culmination of nature and nurture; that both genetics and one's environment plays a role in shaping each individual into the person they are to become. If you are like me, then the environment in which you were raised always had a sibling from the very first memory you can recall; there has always been someone else there, whether it was in your home, in your space, or in your way. Even if you only have one sister, three brothers, or a mix of both, living with a sibling is an experience that provides many lessons and insights into one's life. Though nothing is perfect, and every experience comes with its ups and downs, I have learned that being an older sister is a blessing in disguise as it has truly made me a better person.

As the oldest, I have learned how to care strongly and love deeply by placing the thoughts, feelings, and needs of someone else before myself. I learned that having the responsibility of being an older sibling is not a chore, but a gift; one that helps you grow as a person. Having a younger sibling puts you in the position where you must not be selfish, as your actions can negatively affect someone else. You are no longer allowed to think only for yourself. Being an older sister gives you an important responsibility at, usually, a young age. You are no longer the most fragile one in the family; there is now someone who is younger than you, someone who knows less than you, and someone who will need more hands on care and attention than you. No longer will your parents give you their undivided attention, as there is another being in the home who also demands it. Living with siblings forces you to understand concepts learned at an early age on another level; it forces you to put these concepts of sharing, understanding, and patience into practice.

The results of these learned concepts are the ability to compromise, be empathetic, and have tolerance. At whatever age you were granted a younger sibling, you were immediately given the responsibility to watch out for them. It has become your unspoken job to care for that person, to help them learn about themselves, and to encourage them to embrace the world in which they live. As the oldest, you become a role model, whether you like it or not. If you have a short temper, your sibling observes your behavior, and oftentimes matches it. Having someone constantly looking up to you can put a weight on your shoulders; however, it allowed me to understand that what I do truly matters. After having lived with siblings, I am able to better express myself in appropriate ways. When you're younger, it is not uncommon to use your fists or feet to express how you feel instead of your words. However, when dealing with siblings, this approach of violence over verbal communication does not fly with most parents. You gain a better understanding of how people should act when you are faced with the hardships of living with siblings; furthermore, being the oldest means that you are expected to act appropriately.

Having siblings several years younger than oneself has effected me in ways I could not have anticipated or predicted: honestly, it has scared me beyond belief. I never thought that I would have the capacity, ability, or understanding to be able to love someone so much at such a young age. I never thought that at twenty years old, I would worry like a mother or that I would be overprotective like a father and I certainly never thought that I was capable of loving so deeply having only been alive two decades. Having a younger sibling pushes you in ways you would not imagine; it stretches your patience to its breaking point and pushes your anger to its limit. Siblings, at times, can annoy you to the point of complete and utter frustation, one that has you reconsidering whether or not it would have been worth it to have been born an only child. One who does not have to deal with or put up with the nonsensical actions of a younger sibling. However, I personally would not trade being an older sister for anything, because even in the midst of all the arguments and misunderstandings there is a deep and unparalleled love that remains.

There is no love like that between siblings. I understand that having a younger sibling is not a choice that you can make. It is not a decision you get to have, but for many of us it is a common shared life experience. Learning how to deal with people constantly in your space or how to remain calm when angered are just a couple of examples that encourage growth. Being the oldest has taught me so many invaluable lessons that I wouldn't trade for the world. I learned how to be understanding of other's issues, how to compromise, and how to remain patient when faced with an extremely annoying force. I'm sure that I would have gained empathy, patience, and understanding through other experiences, if I did not have younger siblings; however, living with siblings has opened my heart to every new experience. I now can say that I understand unconditional love and that having siblings has helped to shape me into the person I am today.