Romance novels, sappy movies, and overly dramatic love stories are extremely prominent today. I would know, I write about them often. I love romance, and I am a huge sucker for a cheesy plotline and a hot leading actor. Recently, however, I've been doing some research, observing, and just watching what the latest #relationshipgoal to trend is, and I've noticed something absolutely horrific starting to come about. We're all guilty of some of these mindsets, I know I am, but can we take a second and like, I don't know, stop?
We need to stop, as a society, romanticizing unhealthy things. We need to stop using mental health disorders such as depression and anxiety to reason as to why we love others, or why we deserve stories or novels written about us. I know what depression and anxiety feel like, trust me, and there is nothing that infuriates me more than seeing social media flooded with "My boyfriend makes me love myself again", or my personal favorite "when he hugs me, he glues all my broken pieces back together". Don't get it twisted, if your significant other gives you a reason to put your mental health as a priority and helps you through the daily battles, then awesome. That's great; I'm ecstatic to hear it. But there's nothing romantic about feeling like you're drowning, not finding a reason to get out of bed in the morning, or barely making it through each and every day. Depression is NOT a love story, so we should probably stop making it into one. Our support systems vary, I get that. I really do. But mental health isn't about falling in love. It's about getting the help you need to keep yourself going.
Another thing we need to stop romanticizing is the relationships of others. I'm so guilty of this one as well, as I wish that I had a relationship like the famous celeb #powercouples because they look like they have it all together. They have cute dates, cute outfits, cute everything. It's easy for our hearts and minds to fill up with enormous amounts of jealousy, and that's not healthy. Having strange obsessions with other couples is not normal. Having expectations that your relationship should be like Ben and Lauren's is not healthy. But we still continue to want to look like we have it all together and look perfect. It's okay to not have it all together. That's what relationships are for; figuring out life with the person that you love.
Relationship goals are also hurting our relationships with others. Since when is constant communication 24/7, constant talking/texting/snapchatting, over-protective behavior, and extreme jealousy a goal that we want to strive to achieve? That's sure as heck not what I want in my relationship. Sure, communication is key in a successful relationship. But constantly wanting to talk to your significant other from the second you wake up to the second you go to sleep? I've learned that you can grow up without growing apart, and that takes trust and maturity. I see the coveted pictures of "omg #goals" and I throw up a little bit every time it graces my timeline or newsfeed. The expensive gifts and fancy dinners are nice and all, but that's not a normal everyday expectation you should have of your significant other.
The last thing we need to stop romanticizing are the hardships that relationships go through. One huge hardship is that of long distance relationships. Yes, it's so great when couples are able to power through being apart during the hard times, and not having that constant companionship that other couples are able to experience. But that's not always what happens. Life is hard and tricky and sometimes relationships hit rough patches. Long-distance relationships are at a huge disadvantage because face-to-face convos become phone and text conversations, and not having that person there really makes it difficult. They aren't always going to have the fairytale ending. No relationship is guaranteed to have that fairytale ending.
We need to go back to having healthy expectations and healthy relationships. As we move further away from them, the harder it is going to be to turn back and go the opposite direction. Everyone deserves to have a relationship that's good for them, and the romanticizing of unhealthy acts and thoughts is getting us too far away from that.