How Unhealthy Ideals Are Hurting our Relationships
Start writing a post
Relationships

How Unhealthy Ideals Are Hurting our Relationships

We do it without thinking about how it affects us.

46
How Unhealthy Ideals Are Hurting our Relationships
Jayde Anzola

Romance novels, sappy movies, and overly dramatic love stories are extremely prominent today. I would know, I write about them often. I love romance, and I am a huge sucker for a cheesy plotline and a hot leading actor. Recently, however, I've been doing some research, observing, and just watching what the latest #relationshipgoal to trend is, and I've noticed something absolutely horrific starting to come about. We're all guilty of some of these mindsets, I know I am, but can we take a second and like, I don't know, stop?

We need to stop, as a society, romanticizing unhealthy things. We need to stop using mental health disorders such as depression and anxiety to reason as to why we love others, or why we deserve stories or novels written about us. I know what depression and anxiety feel like, trust me, and there is nothing that infuriates me more than seeing social media flooded with "My boyfriend makes me love myself again", or my personal favorite "when he hugs me, he glues all my broken pieces back together". Don't get it twisted, if your significant other gives you a reason to put your mental health as a priority and helps you through the daily battles, then awesome. That's great; I'm ecstatic to hear it. But there's nothing romantic about feeling like you're drowning, not finding a reason to get out of bed in the morning, or barely making it through each and every day. Depression is NOT a love story, so we should probably stop making it into one. Our support systems vary, I get that. I really do. But mental health isn't about falling in love. It's about getting the help you need to keep yourself going.

Another thing we need to stop romanticizing is the relationships of others. I'm so guilty of this one as well, as I wish that I had a relationship like the famous celeb #powercouples because they look like they have it all together. They have cute dates, cute outfits, cute everything. It's easy for our hearts and minds to fill up with enormous amounts of jealousy, and that's not healthy. Having strange obsessions with other couples is not normal. Having expectations that your relationship should be like Ben and Lauren's is not healthy. But we still continue to want to look like we have it all together and look perfect. It's okay to not have it all together. That's what relationships are for; figuring out life with the person that you love.

Relationship goals are also hurting our relationships with others. Since when is constant communication 24/7, constant talking/texting/snapchatting, over-protective behavior, and extreme jealousy a goal that we want to strive to achieve? That's sure as heck not what I want in my relationship. Sure, communication is key in a successful relationship. But constantly wanting to talk to your significant other from the second you wake up to the second you go to sleep? I've learned that you can grow up without growing apart, and that takes trust and maturity. I see the coveted pictures of "omg #goals" and I throw up a little bit every time it graces my timeline or newsfeed. The expensive gifts and fancy dinners are nice and all, but that's not a normal everyday expectation you should have of your significant other.

The last thing we need to stop romanticizing are the hardships that relationships go through. One huge hardship is that of long distance relationships. Yes, it's so great when couples are able to power through being apart during the hard times, and not having that constant companionship that other couples are able to experience. But that's not always what happens. Life is hard and tricky and sometimes relationships hit rough patches. Long-distance relationships are at a huge disadvantage because face-to-face convos become phone and text conversations, and not having that person there really makes it difficult. They aren't always going to have the fairytale ending. No relationship is guaranteed to have that fairytale ending.

We need to go back to having healthy expectations and healthy relationships. As we move further away from them, the harder it is going to be to turn back and go the opposite direction. Everyone deserves to have a relationship that's good for them, and the romanticizing of unhealthy acts and thoughts is getting us too far away from that.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

57849
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

37270
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

958964
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

192120
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments