The self-praise and flamboyance of overt narcissists are some of the traits that make them easy to identify. But how will you understand if you have a covert narcissist in your life? Covert narcissists are just like others in the crowd. Still, covert behavior is more subtle and less noticeable than other narcissists.

While it is pretty easy to spot a narcissist as they will loudly share all the fabulous stories about themselves to create a sense of importance and accomplishment, covert narcissists are those who crave admiration while lacking empathy toward others. Covert narcissists are outwardly self-obliterating.

But What Are The Signs To Look For If You Suspect You Have A Covert Narcissist In Your Life?

There will always be some standard criteria of an overt and a covert narcissist. Remember that narcissistic personality is a kind of disorder. If you look closely, you can spot some conventional attributes and patterns in their regular dealings if you suspect you might be dealing with a covert narcissist. If you want to help yourself while dealing with such a personality, knowing about these traits will help you interact better.

They Explain Their Blame And Shame Games

A narcissist always finds it funny to shame others. It is one of their excellent tactics to secure their own elevated position among many others. An overt personality will be evident in their approach. They will explicitly put you down, criticize you, and be sarcastic or rude. But a covert narcissist may have something different. As they believe in a gentler approach, they will try to explain why they are blaming you. They sometimes might victimize themselves of your behavior to gain reassurance and praise from others. But no matter what, the goal of a narcissist is always to make others feel small.

They Crave For Admiration

An overt personality is an extrovert. They will try to portray themselves heroically while interacting with others. But for a covert narcissist, this can be less obvious. Though a covert personality also craves importance and admiration, they don't behave like an overt personality. They might purposefully minimize their achievements and talents so that people offer them reassurance about their abilities. Smart right?

Remember, an overt personality demands admiration, whereas a covert narcissist uses a softer approach to meet those small goals. A covert narcissist consistently looks for reassurance about their skills, talents, and accomplishment out of self-importance.

They Create Confusion

A covert narcissist enjoys creating confusion while interacting with others. They don't directly engage themselves in blaming and shaming, but instead, they cause people to question their own perceptions and self-doubt themselves. Covert narcissists always look for ways to elevate themselves, and they want to have the power in the interaction. Once they get you to question your own perceptions, they get the opportunity to manipulate and exploit you more.

They Procrastinate

Overt narcissists know how to get things done on their own terms. As they always need self-importance, they might do whatever they need to do to prioritize themselves. An overt narcissist may directly try to manipulate you to accomplish their goals. But that is not how a covert narcissist operates. They're pretty professional at not acknowledging you at all. They will never tell you that you are unnecessary, but they might keep you waiting for long or respond late to your emails and texts. By not regarding your time or interest, they might try to make you feel unimportant.

They Are Emotionally Neglectful

Narcissists do not believe in building and nurturing emotional bonds with others. It is simply because they are so focused on themselves that they don't really save up any energy to maintain a bond with others. A covert narcissist might appear kinder than their overt counterpart, but they are not emotionally accessible to you. A covert narcissist will never give you compliments as they want to stay elevated to maintain their sense of self-importance no matter where they go. A covert personality never regards your talents or abilities. If you are dealing with a covert narcissist, you will find yourself lifting all the heavy emotions. In contrast, they are more likely to be emotionally disappeared when you need them.

They Give For Reasons

Narcissists don't believe in becoming givers. For them, it is too difficult to put energy into something that does not serve them in return. A covert personality might present themselves to be a giver, but they're not actually a giving personality. For a simple example, if you go out with a covert nature, you will notice that a covert narcissist is more likely to put the tip in the jar when the restaurant manager is looking. They always try to help facilitate communication to interact and gain praise from others for giving.

How To Deal With A Covert Personality?

If you are in a personal relationship with a covert narcissist, remember that we cannot control anyone and their behaviors. But remember some simple steps to protect yourself while dealing with a covert narcissist:

Don't Take Things Personally: If you are dealing with a covert narcissist, know that they will be manipulative and deceptive at times. No matter how painful their behaviors are, it is essential to understand that it has nothing to do with you.

Set Your Own Boundaries: Narcissists will never create healthy boundaries. As they lack empathy and have a strong sense of entitlement, they never allow boundaries to get in the way of their goals. It's you who needs to set boundaries with the narcissist. If you are in a personal relationship with a narcissist, sometimes it can be tough to set boundaries. But remember, it's crucial to make others understand what your values are.

Maintain A Healthy Distance: It's frustrating and overwhelming to stay with a covert narcissist. And sometimes, it's challenging to create a distance when the covert narcissist is a family member or friend. However, you can limit your personal interactions or be vocal if some of their behavior hurt you.

Covert narcissism is a personality disorder where the person does not display their narcissistic personalities even though they have it all. People with covert narcissism find interpersonal relationships to be complex undertakings. They appear to be shy and modest. If you want to help someone deal with covert narcissism, you might find a therapist for them. But remember, treatment can help people with this disorder.