Dear Mom,

The phrase "thank you for everything" is as comprehensive as it is empty. It is somehow everything and nothing close to what I want to say to you. Because what is "everything?"

Is it every diaper you changed or every pee-stained floor you cleaned while I was potty training? Is it every repetition of the Itsy Bitsy Spider you sung to make me happy? Is it every hour you stayed awake at night so that I could sleep? Is it every inch you stretched your arm to hold my foot in the car so I knew you were there when I couldn't see you through the dark? Is it every piece of elementary school artwork that you saved and displayed on the refrigerator so I knew you were proud? Is it every school function you attended and videotaped so I knew I was supported? Is it every peanut-free, dairy-free cookie and cupcake you baked for class parties so I would never know what it was like to miss out?

Is it every effort you put in to keep my world full of belief for as long as possible? Is it every excessive Christmas wish-list item you wrapped and placed under the tree as Santa, not taking any credit for making my material dreams come true? Is it every piece of candy you bought and placed inside a hidden egg for me to find on Easter? Is it every under-brushed tooth touched and taken, every dollar placed under my pillow at night for me to greedily stash away in the morning?

Is it every cycle of soiled laundry you washed, folded, and tucked away neatly in my dresser? Is it every steam-filled sip of hazelnut coffee you woke up early in the morning to make? Is it every pinch of salt, every drop of oil, every chop of the knife you put towards my teriyaki salmon? Is it every unopened jar of ready-made tomato sauce sitting in the pantry that shows you cared too much to feed me something as loveless as that? Is it every dish you've ever cleaned, dried, and put away? Is it every rag you've used to wipe the kitchen floor at night so fallen pieces of rice and mysterious liquids don't soil my socks the next day? Is it every hair you unclogged from the bathroom drain, every roll of toilet paper you've thanklessly replaced? Is it every stain you've scrubbed, every surface you've swiped, every Swiffer you've swept?

Is it every tear you've shed, every ache of the heart you've felt because of me? Is it every insult you've internalized, every jab you've taken from me so that I would hurt less? Is it every mistake I've made, every word of disrespect I've said that you've forgiven me for? Is it every apology you've initiated for something I did wrong? Is it every hug you've given, every tear you've wiped away when I so often made a big deal of a frivolous thing?

Is it every phone call you've picked up from me when I needed you and when I didn't? Is it every time you've asked me if I've eaten or how my day was going? Is it every word of wisdom you've spoken, every piece of invaluable advice you've given? Is it every secret you've kept safe, every rant you've listened to and never remunerated? Is it every "I love you," every heart, and every kiss you've texted me? Is it every mile you've driven, every traffic jam you've suffered through, every toll you've paid to see me because I missed you? Is it every way in which you've made it known that you will always be there for me, that I always have a place to call home?

...Yes. It's each one of these things and countless of others. So when I say "thank you for everything," know that I am saying this most insincere phrase with the deepest of sincerity. I love you, and thank you for everything.