Whether your goal is to get close to a cute but shy person, or simply to understand your introvert friends, here are a few things to keep in mind. Introverts are very hard to understand and can seem rude or fragile at times, but in reality we’re just not good at making conversation and prefer to be left alone.

In order to get along well with introvert, you have to understand our language and our behavior. Of course, the degree to which an introvert does this depends on the person, but here’s a general overview of our thinking.

A common misconception about introverts is that we hate talking to people in general and prefer to be left alone. This could be partially true in some cases -- some really do prefer to be left alone. Most of the time, we’re just uncomfortable talking in large groups.

If you want to talk to us one-on-one or in small groups, there wouldn’t be a problem. We’ll gladly discuss current events or common interests with you. We’re not rude people - we’re just slightly more socially awkward and more intimidated by social interactions.

While we enjoy conversations in small groups, introverts tend to avoid small talk. We find it not only intimidating, but also awkward. In fact, a lot of fear that we have towards talking to other people comes from the fear of having to do small talk.

Yes, we would avoid talking to someone just so we don’t have to ask about the weather or go through the “I’m good, how about you?” questions. Since talking to people genuinely takes some effort, we would rather get a meaningful conversation out of it. If you want to get an introvert to open up to you, skip the small talk and just start the conversation.

Introverts tend to be relatively passive, so it’s hard to know exactly what they’re thinking. Because of this, it’s important to notice the nonverbal cues they give off because they probably won’t be voicing any negative opinions out loud. If we’re tired from an event and want to leave, we won’t say it to your face.

We may instead find a place to sit and potentially fall asleep. Instead of verbally expressing discomfort and awkwardness, we may avert our eyes and shift our bodies in another direction. Whatever the cue is, not noticing that cue will only make us fear talking to you even more.

If you ever see us at a party, we’ll most likely be hanging out with the house cat in the corner or standing around swiping on our phones. It’s not that we don’t want to meet new friends, it’s just that socializing can be very exhausting for us. Although the length of time differs for each introvert, there is always a set amount of time we can socialize without feeling like we need a five-year nap to recharge.

You have probably seen someone socializing well with people at a party, but within five minutes they’re half asleep on the couch. Chances are that they’re probably an introvert. We enjoy creating new friendships and meaningful connections, it just tends to take a toll on us both mentally and physically.

Don’t be surprised when an introvert takes a three-hour nap after a large social hangout where they seemed completely fine. Again, we do enjoy socializing sometimes, it’s just tiring.

If you’re able to go through all that hassle to meet an introvert, you’ll end up befriending someone who will truly make your life better. Once you break through their shell, introverts are reliable and loyal and will stick with you no matter what.

They’re great secret keepers, and won’t judge you when you need someone to rant to about something questionable you did last night. Next time you meet an introvert, instead of automatically branding them as antisocial, try these methods and you’ll be rewarded with a great friendship in return.