It has taken me years to realize why I am truly cautious/sensitive to women. Seeing my sister go from a confident, independent person to somebody who can’t seem to find any love for herself has shaped my personal perspective on how my actions can affect people who have a love for me.
I knew at a young, inexperienced age that my sister was not in a good state of being. With her physical and mental health drifting apart day by day, I watched an illness become insurmountable. Doctors only give her more prescriptions to take, while therapists make sure she is taking all her prescriptions as labeled. The cycle repeats.
All she did wrong was follow her heart, which you can’t blame anyone for following. Her heart breaks made me realize how invested people can become in somebody (for all the wrong reasons). The way she was treated in each relationship made me want to understand how my mind worked and how I could control my emotions.I never wanted to be the type of guy who used people, but I am not perfect.
I have made so many mistakes involving whoever I was acquainted with but one must realize we are not the person we were a day ago.I refused to get stuck in the past, I refused to look into the future. I didn’t want feelings, only craved experience to satisfy my senses by absorbing as much of the world around me as I could. I practiced not getting attached to objects of happiness (including people), rather I gained discipline towards objects being temporary.
Whenever I lose touch of values, I remember that I have watched good men put away peace for power, drinks every minute of the hour, just for personal desires to devour good intentions they had towards women.Delusive encounters leave them surrounded by their own lies.
With no time to be extended, the truth is far from apprehended. The conversation turned to cross-fire, with one leaving the other hanging on the edge of wire. To no rules they abide, forever they fight against how they are feeling inside.
For one thing, my sister will never lose her beauty; however, I only see her pain.I hope to better myself, in order to prove to her that it is never too late to have a love for yourself.