How to Lose a Job (in Childcare) in Ten Days
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Politics and Activism

How to Lose a Job (in Childcare) in Ten Days

Just a few of my favorite things as a summer camp head counselor, an absolute and total foolproof way to ensure that you no longer have a job in the childcare field

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How to Lose a Job (in Childcare) in Ten Days

Was it really your first day if you didn't forget your headcount and misplace a camper...or five? I mean, what's the harm in not knowing where a kid is for a little bit? Not like kidnappers strike or accidents occur in the blink of an eye or anything...

Day Four: Leave Your Group to Take a Phone Call

Again, who cares about supervision? Your bae is calling and you just HAVE to know why he's been liking that girl's Instagram. Priorities people, unless the fate of Beyonce's next world tour coming to your hometown depends on you answering that phone, don't do it.


Day Five: Teach the Kids "New" Words/Dances/Phrases That you Learned Watching Unrated Music Videos and Clips From World Star

You know who loves slang and twerking even more than your elementary school campers? That's right! Their parents! Save your supervisor from experiencing the parents awkward re-enactment of their child's new found dance moves or their interpretation of the (fill in random alphabet letter here)-word.

Day Six: Tell the Kids "No" They Cannot Go to The Bathroom

Trust me, when your friendly neighborhood head-counselor is cleaning up your campers urine off the floor, they'll be very understanding about the fact that you didn't feel like making another trip to the bathroom. Bonus points for you if it's #2 they have to clean up.

Day Seven: Helpfully Send a Child Home With Someone Who Didn't Have Their ID

No, just because they say "that's my mom/dad/uncle/brother/neighbor/librarian/priest/etc. does not mean that that child is going ANYWHERE with that person if they have not produced valid identification. In this day and age, custody battles are no stranger to those of us in childcare, and you don't want to be responsible for your favorite camper ending up where they're not supposed to be.

Day Eight: Share Political Opinions With the Children

Yes, we all know Donald Trump is a sexist bigot, and yes, Hillary Clinton is in fact a lying snake. You may feel the need to enlighten your children on such issues, however it is in everyone's best interest if you refrain. The last thing your program needs is a radically political parent in an uproar because their child is calling their candidate of choice the worst thing that's ever happened to this country.

Day Nine: Start Drama With Your Coworkers

So a first year counselor took your place as a huddle counselor and it's your second year? It is ever so helpful if you complain about it. Especially if you talk about it to as many of your fellow counselors about it. Passive aggressive actions are your supervisors favorite, and they will for sure help you get your spot back. Bonus points if you involve the kids in the drama, cause it's totally okay if the six year olds all know that one of their counselors is a big old pain in the butt to the other one.

Day Ten: Come Up With a Fun New Game...That Disregards Safety and Common Sense

I'm sure your supervisor will understand that the theme was King of the Jungle, so you organized a massive battle for control over the pride lands where the kids were the animals and they all battled for control of the Kingdom...Points for creativity, but even more points for the numerous scratches, bites, and black eyes that the children will go home with.


Hopefully you detected the delicate hint of sarcasm used in the construction of this article, if not, best of luck to you! Keep these tips and tricks handy; your supervisors sanity and your position as "camp counselor of the year" hang in the balance!


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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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