8 Steps To Recover From When Your Dreams Just Crashed Down On You

8 Steps To Recover From When Your Dreams Just Crashed Down On You

Go ahead and have that pity party, but make sure to get over it.

Have you ever had your heart so set on something that you knew that it was what you wanted to do for the rest of your life? Everyone has and if they have not it is just because they haven't reached that point in their life yet. However; I had my heart set on something I wanted to do for the rest of my life, but my dream got taken away and I got knocked off the path. Even though we may get knocked down we can still conquer what we had planned, but first, we need to know how to recover.

1. Have that pity party.

Everyone says no do not get sad and down about yourself because you are great and you can do this. While that may be true sometimes we need to hear that it is okay to be upset. We do not always have to be strong and act as if nothing is bothering us. Have that pity party girl, or boy. Have it but don't let it affect your everyday life.

2. Cry it out.

Referring back to number one don't be afraid to be sad. It's okay to be sad. I was sad for about two weeks when my dream got taken away and I did not know how to recover in the least bit. That's okay you do not have to know how to recover just know in the back of your mind you will make it through the darkness.

3. Be mad.

Get mad, cry, have the pity party. When you have your heart so set on something the way I did it's hard not to get mad. I was bound and determined to be in the Air Force, but that just wasn't in the cards for me. So yes I got mad and screamed and was angry at everyone for a while.

4. Don't take it out on your loved ones.

This is definitely one thing I learned. I got mad at my parents and stepparents, but guess what it is not their faults they had nothing to do with it.

5. Let people support you.

When going through having your dreams taken away you need people around you. Have those close friends over. Spend alone time with your Mom, Dad, whoever. Just be around people that love you and see your potential.

6. Be alone.

Yes I said be around your loved ones and that you should, but also give yourself some "you time". Sit down and actually think about what happened. Let yourself rebuild your confidence.

7. Get back on track.

Once you've done everything you need to do whether it be crying, getting mad, being alone, or even going on vacation; it's now time to get back on track. Even though you do not have to know what you're doing immediately at least start making plans. Start trying to put the pieces back together.

8. Let GO and Let GOD.

This is the hardest thing, but God has got you. Let all the anger go and all your previous plans go. If you trust him you'll know where you need to go and he'll bring around another opportunity.

In my case he has brought another way to serve my country to my feet. Although I might not get that position either I know that I will be alright because I've picked myself up and am moving on. That's what you have to do. MOVE ON.

Cover Image Credit: Wikimedia Commons

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I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it


Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

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House Hunting At Its Finest

It's incredibly stressful and takes way too long!


House hunting is hard. I thought at first it would be fun, exciting, and interesting. But now, I'm tired and bored and just want to give up.

I've been looking for a house for a month now and I knew it going in to it, it would take a while. I knew that I wouldn't just walk into the first house and be like, "this is it, this is the one".

But, when you look at 6-10 houses every time you search a day, it gets stressful and tiring.

When I started looking at houses it was because I was planning on getting a house with some friends to rent out for the next 3 years while at UCF. All because I didn't get a spot-on campus with the lottery, I got waitlisted. So, I need to look for housing to secure a place to live next fall.

Now, my dad wants to turn it into a small business. Buy a house, rent out the rooms for a reasonable price, cheaper than some apartments, and make a profit.

It sounds like a good plan.

But then you have to factor in: location and how far it is from campus, the price range in which you could make a profit, the number of bedrooms and bathrooms, the price per square inch, the property taxes, if the house needs work or not, upgrades, improvement, parking availability, etc. The list just goes on and on.

It's hard to find the "perfect" house.

I want to be able to make it "home" for the next 3 years. I want to make it somewhere where I can hang out, have friends over, and love to live in.

Every time I walk into a new house, I automatically think, "what would I do to this room? Or that?". I think of furniture and décor. I think about how I would design it and make it ours.

I even made a Pinterest board, one for home décor and one for bedrooms.

I feel like I'm going overboard but I can't help it.

I get excited when it comes to the designing aspect, but my parents have to be so nit-picky. They came up over the weekend to search for houses with me and every time we walk into a house I hear: "the carpet is stained, needs to be removed", "the kitchen is outdated, needs to be upgraded", "the bathroom needs work", "the wall has a hole", "not enough bathrooms" and so much more.

It's not like I don't chime in with comments either.

I do put in a fair share of my personal opinions about the quality of the houses too.

But, at this point I wish we could just settle on something. Again, I know this takes time but I just get anxious.

So, we are going into the 5thweek and still haven't agreed on a house. My mom has her picks, my dad has his, and I have mine. And none of them overlap. Frankly, I don't get a "say" in what my parents chose since they will be purchasing the house. But, I get to live in it, my friends are the ones who will be paying them rent. So, I feel like my opinion matters. Whenever I ask questions or give input, they talk over me.

As if, I wasn't even there!

Yet, that is how the ball rolled. Wow, I'm borderline whining over here. It's not like I'm not grateful but, I wish I was valued as an adult helping in this situation.

Well thank you for coming to my "TED" talk! And reading about yet another annoying and trivial struggle of mine. I'll write again soon.

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