How To Handle Toxic People
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How To Handle Toxic People

College is a time of exploration, but if you run into situations beyond your control, here's a guide to making the best of your experience.

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How To Handle Toxic People

A sweeping revelation by many college age students is revolutionizing the way we market ourselves to others. Many in younger generations are focused on avoiding "toxic people", described by Dr. Christine Porath as people enveloped in "selfishness and callousness" that have a knack for destroying "interpersonal relationships" (Schreiber, 2017). Katherine Schreiber details Porath's findings both through research and personal experience, trying to dissect the best methods for handling toxic relationships.

Porath is introduced as a former employee of a toxic boss. A boss who was not only uninspiring, but one who "bullied" and performed other "noxious actions" (Schreiber, 2017). Porath eventually grew tired of the trickling negativity in her workspace and now is a doctoral professor at Georgetown University. The writer makes a point that times of turbulence in politics and culture can summon dissociative antics by people in high pressured and anxiety-triggering situations such as workplaces. The specific time of turbulence is described as a "jolt", or a specific turning point in a mental state (Schreiber, 2017). The jolt creates imbalance in an already unstable individual, and toxicity is easily encouragable.

Schreiber makes a continual point that different points in the day can trigger toxic behavior, whether from a coworker, sibling, or even a friend. The article uses a typical insert of Latin origin to make a point about the targeted intention of most toxic behavior. Theo Veldsman, the head of Industrial Psychology and People Management at the University of Johannesburg, is consulted for descriptions of toxic leadership and the attack of self-worth. These leaders are characterized as "excellent psychologists" from their ability to "steal the oxygen" from underlying employees (Schreiber, 2017). Those who are subject to influence are the most susceptible to toxicity, and the occurrences are prompted by situational opportunity.

The next section tackles how to handle these situations in different locations that promote anger and anxiety, starting with work. With work making the switch from individuality towards synergy and productivity, the spread of toxicity between coworkers is quite likely. The concept of uncivility is introduced by Porath to explain different instances of toxic behavior, as she states that "60 percent [of people] claim the reason they are uncivil is that they are feeling overwhelmed or stressed" (Schreiber, 2017). Technology and especially email is cited for negativity, as being undervalued is very possible when attempting to read between the lines. This dissolves morale and engagement within the workplace, and typically makes these happenings worse.

Love is also explored as a register site for the invitation of toxicity. Romantic partners can be the most appealing toxic people, as most people look past minor flaws until large eruptions of truth and realization of self-worth. The closer you get to a toxic partner, the more they can use against you in a mental jolt. Relationships are stated to be "the fine line between nurturing and controlling", and when the line is broken, "love-bombing" occurs, where you offer instant companionship or instant negation (Schreiber, 2017).

To dissect why toxic people do the things they do, the writer makes an observation that those with personality disorders often have a problem with this, as narcissism and paranoia plague many victims. People like this lack empathy, and instead of making moves toward companionship, they push ties away with exhibitions of neural short-circuiting. Controlling your exposure to people with this problem is the most effective way to avoid these people, though is difficult when these people are at your daily doings, and especially when they share a personal connections to you. Managing your reactivity also helps, as your clarity of mind is often a central factor in the counteractive state of being. Lastly, Schreiber asks the reader to be straight-forward with toxicity. Perspective is the deciding factor in these encounters, and being open is the best handling method. Overall, this article makes many educated, informative statements about what true toxicity is and how to defend yourself from it. Take it with a grain of salt since everyone's life is different, but hopefully this helps you in the end!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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