To The Girl Going Through A Breakup

To The Girl Going Through A Breakup

It's not the end of the world, I promise.

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I thought I had found a soulmate. I thought I had found this perfect person who got my humor, could handle my weirdness and was willing to work on my insecurities with me. Turns out I was wrong. I let myself open up to this person even though opening up to people is the hardest thing for me to do because every time I open up to people, they walk out of my life. Of course, he walked right out without looking back. I have asked myself over and over again "What is so wrong with me that the people I care about most keep leaving me behind?" No matter how many times I ask myself this question, I can't seem to find an answer.

Whoever you are, whether you've just gone through a breakup or even lost a close friend, just know there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Believe me, I have a lot of experience with this sort of stuff and I would like to think I'm not a bad person. Whatever is happening in your significant other's life right now that has caused them to end things most likely has nothing to do with you. Just know that if someone truly loves you they will never ever leave you behind. Someone who loves you wouldn't bring this type of hurt into your life and they wouldn't leave you behind.

Besides, don't get caught up on some boy. I found myself wondering where I went wrong when I didn't do anything. I realized I have so many things I could be focusing on. Go spend more time with your friends, focus more on school, get more involved in your community, just go and kick some booty! Don't worry, if someone is truly meant to be in your life, they will fall right into your lap without you even looking for them. Everything happens for a reason and every time a door closes a better, more beautiful one opens.

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An Appreciative Thank You Letter To My Ex-Boyfriend

"And I hope the sun shines and it's a beautiful day and something reminds you you wish you had stayed. You can plan for a change in weather and time but I never planned on you changing your mind"
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Exes get a lot of backlash in breakups. This letter is not that. This letter is not bashing my ex-boyfriend for doing what was best for him. This letter is being written for the pure reason I want to thank him for what he has done, but I am simply not strong enough to send it to him myself.

Thank you for the time we had together. In the moment, I was able to give and receive affection, have good times, and laugh at the smallest. I can’t tell you how happy I am to have memories that I can look back on and smile about. Our relationship isn't something I regret, in fact, it taught me a lot about myself. The days we spent together were some of the happiest and best days of my life. I hope you know that.

Thank you for the unforgettable experience of my hand being held in yours. Thank you for rubbing my back when it was bothering me. Thank you for taking care of me when I didn't take care of myself. You were the only person who got me to eat during finals week. You were also the only person who was able to keep me calm going into the last month of college, and that means the world to me. I have never met someone who could get me to be so comfortable so quickly. I have never slept better than with your arms around me all those nights. You never complained once when I was being a pain instead you let me realize it and then we would laugh it off. We never picked fights and when we did fight, you wouldn't run away or shut me out. You listened. You were the first person who ever gave me a chance to say what I felt and you never made me feel bad about it.

From the second I met you, I could tell that there was something about you that had me hooked, simply by the look in your eyes. I connected with you so easily and quickly that I have never connected with someone like that before. That spoke mountains to me, for me to be able to open up to you and talk to you the way I did. You were the first boy I have ever met that made me feel beautiful in my own skin. You complimented me everyday, even if I looked like I rolled out of bed. You never let me go a day without knowing just how much you cared and that brings me to tears to this day. Tears because it makes me so happy to remember you doing that. You taught me how to feel beautiful and confident. You never made me feel ashamed for anything in my life, and you supported me through every choice I made.

You proudly introduced me to your family and friends as your girlfriend. You never tried to hide me from anyone you met. You made me a priority in your life, and for the first time I was put first. Your family welcomed me from the second they met me and that warms my heart because to me they could see that I was someone important in your life.

I invested my emotions, my thoughts, and my time in you. I only hope that that has brought you happiness. I hope that when you look back at us, that you smile and are grateful for the time spent. I hope that I made you as happy as you made me in the short time we were together.

Looking back, I am not mad or upset. I do not hate you or wish you the worst. I am very proud of you for realizing that you needed to do what was best for you and at that time in life that wasn't me. I am only sorry that I couldn't do more for you. But whatever you set out to do in this life, I wish you nothing but the best. I wish you years of happiness and laughter. And I wish that you accomplish all of the dreams you set for yourself. I hope you miss what we had just as much as I do; because for the first time in a very long time it was the only real thing I had to hold on to. You gave me more than you'll ever realize and for that I am forever grateful.

Thank you for everything. For treating me like I mattered, putting me first, caring about me, wiping my tears, making me smile, and holding my hand through thick and thin. I am forever thankful for the relationship we had. No one has made the impact you did in the short amount of time together. You are truly one of a kind and I hope you realize that you deserve nothing but the best in this life.

Sincerely,

The appreciative ex-girlfriend.

Cover Image Credit: Katie Nicastro

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An Open Letter To The People I Decided To Stop Fighting For

"Stop begging and fighting for people to love you the right way. Stop investing time in people who don't mind if you stay or leave." — Reyna Biddy

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To the people I decided to stop fighting for,

It's not you, it's me. It's me who made the choice to put your needs above mine for longer than I should have. It's me who let myself be involved in an endless cycle of giving, without taking. It's me who continues to see the best in people even when shown a million reasons to take off the goggles-- to not float back down to Earth, back to reality. But to crash into pieces of what was once a flawless facade.

But it's you who were never going to change.

You were never going to see all the ways you hurt me, and I was never going to force you to. Just as you failed to understand, I failed to tell you there were repercussions... because there weren't.

I am a kind person, and I will not stop being kind. I am a compassionate person, and I will not stop being compassionate. I will, however, stop letting my kindness and compassion act as a gateway for mistreatment, for not second chances but third and fourth and fifth chances. Chances that you never asked for, but that I gave you anyways.

I have to walk away from the one-sidedness, from the excuses that I handed you on a silver platter. I let you walk all over me, and I even shined your shoes in the process. I am done using amazing memories as a means of masking toxicity with a happy past. The thing about memories is that they're used to reminisce about the previous, but I used them to excuse the things that you do in the present.

You were never going to stop making me feel small when all I'd do is try to lift you up. I suppose the more you let someone treat you as though you're small, the more they believe it is OK to do this, it is OK to belittle you. But it was never OK, and that's on me. It was me who'd tell you the ways you had hurt me, only to have you repeat them over and over again without consequence. And it was me who was fine with this.

I am without anger, without frustration, and without sadness.

I feel nothing but love for you, but I must also love myself enough to stop fighting and to let go of things not meant for me, things that no longer bring me joy and peace in my life.

Now I am exhausted, far too tired to fight for people who judge instead of love, who bicker instead of trying to understand. Because you weren't going to change. You won't change. And that's OK, that I've made peace with. But I have to change — I have to stand up for myself, and I have to walk away.

So I lay down my armor and I throw up my shield because it's time to start protecting myself, to start fighting for me.

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