So, are you more of a dog person, or more of a cat person…you know, since you have both? So, you’re out with your friends on a Tuesday night…you must be a "party girl", right? Your grades must suffer because you have a busy social life…yeah?

Well, if you’re a feminist, why are you flirting with me? If you stay at home in your sweats one weekend, you must not like to have fun, right? You must be boring...right? Right? Right? Right?

Wrong. These are only a few examples of multifaceted binary roles that play out in my life every day, as well as many other 20-something-year-olds. Living in the center of such a radical culture forces some people to believe that if you aren’t absolute in something, then you aren’t that "thing" at all. All or nothing. Ride or die. Go big or go home.

Well, I am totally cheating on one half of myself with the other. I have multiple roles that conflict with one another, and I bet every single person that has ever walked the face of this earth has felt a conflict between her/his role(s) at least once…but probably a thousand times. It is OK to not be 100% left or right. Having an ambidextrous personality creates complex, creative, interesting, and successful individuals. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it. Be complicated. Here's how I attempt to be successfully complex.

1. Dog Mom & Cat Mom = 200% Animal Lover

With the rise of the feline in popular culture, many people identify a certain type of person as a "cat person". It is a strong stereotype that I might actually fit into (I mean, I for sure fit into it), but I also love my dog just as much as I love my cat. I am 100% a dog person. I am also 100% a cat person. So, I am 200% lover of all things cute and cuddly (even if they do scratch my face off when I try to love them or sleep with their fluffy butts right on top of my head). You don’t have to limit yourself to 50% something because part of something else takes up an entire 100%. Who said 100% is where we stop in regards to our characteristic percentages? Asking someone who is both a dog and cat mom which species they love more, is just like…well, asking someone with two kids which child they love more.

2. 4.0 Grad Student by Day, Social Butterfly (or some other bug) by Night

Not everyone can balance good grades and a full social life. Some can. I can. But, I wasn’t always able to. As I get older, I learn more about that word we hear too often as an adolescent and then become desensitized to its meaning. **Priorities**. You can prioritize multiple things. In fact, the term priority wouldn’t even have use or meaning in the English language if people weren’t supposed to have multiple passions, needs, and wants. Learning to balance it all is one of the greatest accomplishments- maybe make THAT your first priority (*drops mic*...or laptop...no, yikes, I'm not going to do that). Life is a balancing act, right? Yin yang, and all that? Don't be scared to have fun and be smart and successful. Socializing is networking. Networking is important. Therefore, socializing is important. Stick your head in the books all day, and then get some human interaction at night. You'll thank me later.

3. A Feminist Who "Flirts"

I am a feminist. I also shave my legs and wear makeup. I argue against misogyny and the patriarchy, yes…but, I also like sexy brunette boys that talk about art and have nice fore-arms. I enjoy the opposite sex just as much as the next “flirt”, and I can also open the door for you and myself, AND pay for my own drinks. If you can be a gentleman, I can be a gentlewoman (that’s not so gentle…so the term doesn’t really work here, but you’re picking up what I’m laying down…right? God, I hope so). There is a term for men being courteous to women: chivalry. What is the term for women being courteous to men? Usually, it’s calling flirting. Let’s change that term and embrace the idea that women and men alike are called to be courteous to both other men and women. And just because I want to pay for my own drinks, doesn’t mean I don’t think you’re cute.

4. An Adventure Lover Who Loves Staying Home

There is a current obsession with traveling, adventuring, and…posting. We all want to do something exciting as often as we can, and not because we want to be able to reflect on how (if you’re traveled) you’re a more well-rounded and cultured individual who is developing experiences that could aid you in future endeavors and experiences.

Maybe a small number of people have that mindset in the front part of their brain…but most people these days (and not only millennials…you forty and fifty-somethings on Facebook like posting about your adventures, too) want to be in a cool place, for a cool photo, and a cool story to shorten to caption size with matching and appropriate emojis. I am not criticizing…I myself enjoy posting to Instagram, Snapchat, and Facebook alike.

But, the trend to travel, even if it’s just to the waterfall an hour away from where you live every other weekend in order to have a cool pic to post, is depleting another aspect of life…home life. If you’re like me, you have multiple animals at home, family close by, and responsibilities (ugh, yes I know, it’s such a yucky word and not nearly as fun as the words “brunch” or “girl’s night”). I have found myself in my mid-twenties and feeling spent. I always wanted in on the action. Sound familiar? Ride or die. All or nothing. Go big or go…to brunch?

No, I needed to take a break and do my damn laundry. It’s ok to *want* to do laundry. It’s ok to *want* to clean your house, bathe your dog, go to bed at 9 pm on a Friday night, clean out your closet at 2 am on a Saturday night, and hide away from everyone on a Sunday and gather your thoughts and outfits for the upcoming week. It’s ok to want to be an adventurer one weekend, and decline invites to something the next. Either way, don’t stop posting pics of your beautiful smiling face whether you’re sitting at home on your front porch with your fur-babies or spending the weekend gallivanting through the water ways in Venice, Italy. All moments in your life are important and worth posting…if that’s your thing *winky face*

Be multifaceted.
Be complex.
Expand roles beyond what they have traditionally been. Clash with yourself.
Bend the rules, break the rules, put the rules back together, chase the boys (or the girls), stay up late, wake up early, read a lot, go to new places, be comfortable at home alone, go to the same places you’ve been a million times because you love it there, learn to say no and mean it, learn to say yes and mean it…teach yourself to genuinely “do” each “thing” you’re “doing”, and nurture the fragmented parts of yourself in order to feel whole.