Are we really prepared to handle it?

Death is no stranger to my home. Do you know what it is like to lose person after person and not being able to do absolutely anything about it?

The nonstop death streak really started when I was 14-years-old. That year, I lost my grandma from my mom’s side and grandpa from my dad’s side (the only grandparents I had left), within 2 months apart. From there, it only got worse.

What happens when the people closest to you are slowly leaving when you aren’t ready?

I wasn’t given a guide to dealing with loss, and I wish someone could have really helped me. Like I stated previously, those moments only foreshadowed the worst it would get: losing both of my parents to cancer, also 2 months apart, when I was 19. All I have left of my immediate family is my sister.

People always ask me, well how do you deal with that? Are you okay? Honestly, I never look for sympathy, nor do I need it. The only answer is day by day, to remember your loved ones in the best light and keep their memory alive. The most you can really do is be there for people you still have left and support each other.

There are five important steps to getting through a tragic death:

1. Work on accepting that the death did, in fact, happen.

2. Seek support through friends and family.

3. Do something for YOURSELF that will make you temporarily feel good (nails, hair, etc).

4. Set goals on how you want your future to pan out, and make obtainable mini goals to accomplish it, that way you have something to look forward to.

5. Remember that death can’t always be predicted, so try and live your life to the fullest as much as you can.

The Honest Aftermath:

Death to me now is something I continuously think about. I am always imagining scenarios in my head about how death could happen to my loved ones or me. The classic getting hit by a car randomly, or developing cancer. I’d say the craziest scenario would be an airplane crashing into my house. It is scary to think this way, but it is traumatic. You are not alone. It is normal to be imagining these things because you love life and want to stay around for all of the firsts — getting married, having children, etc.

How do you deal with constantly missing your lost loved ones?

You are always going to miss them. There is no “out.” You can’t just suddenly stop missing them. In time, missing them will just feel like a natural part of your thoughts. You will find yourself having dreams and writing about them (like I do now). You will find yourself understanding the phrase “they will always be with you,” because it’ll feel like they never left. I think about my loved ones all the time and it is an amazing feeling knowing that whatever you achieve, they literally will always be in your heart and your driving force. Trust me, time may not exactly "heal" all wounds, but it gets better. Eventually, the love you feel for your loved ones will keep their memory alive, and help you push forward.