Does your girlfriend spend her days- and money- on fine eating establishments? Is her refrigerator filled to the top with takeout and leftover containers? Is her lock screen a photo of pizza? Then congrats! Your girlfriend is a foodie. Who isn’t? Food is amazing, but your girlfriend takes it to a whole other level. It seems like her entire life revolves around food. Round, like pizza… and burritos…cookies!
Here are some tricks and tips that are a must when you’re dating a foodie.
Forget the flowers, bring her candy.
Flowers are eventually going to die. At least with candy you can enjoy them together.
The word ‘diet’ shouldn’t come close to your vocabulary.
She will probably complain about the large amounts of junk food she eats at least four times a week. But under NO circumstances should you tell her that she should go on a diet. She will not only eat an entire Domino’s pizza by herself out of spite, but she will not hesitate to bite your head off in an instant.
She will ALWAYS pick where you’re going to eat. No if, and, or buts!
If she wants ice cream for dinner, then you are getting ice cream for dinner. The only time she will ever consider allowing you to pick is if it’s your birthday, and even then, she probably won’t let you choose.
It’s Netflix and Chili! Not Netflix and Chill.
The ideal night in is making dinner and binge watching T.V. while spooning unhealthy amounts of food in your mouths.
Don’t force her to go to the gym without promising her to get her food afterwards.
The only way you’re going to get her to do anything, even go to the gym, is the promise of food. you want her to take out the trash? Give her food. Dishes? Give her food! That weird thing you want to try in the bedroom? Food probably… depending on how weird it is.
You don't have to go anywhere fancy.
Those high-end restaurants with a million forks, classes plates etc. and where it is custom to wait for everyone to get their food before you start eating is just going to confuse and annoy her. Chipotle works just fine.
Almost all your arguments are going to be about food.
You’re not going to have an argument worse than the ‘Zaxby’s is better than Chick-Fil-A’ argument. She has strong opinions on food and she is an expert on it. So do not test her!
Know her food orders by heart!
Nothing will say ‘I love you’ more than knowing her Chinese takeout order verbatim. She says it often enough so you better have it drilled into your brain.
Be prepared to spend at least 80% of your money on fast food.
Most of your dates are going to be food related. And she will continually ask you to spot her at the drive thru, even though you both know that she’s not going to pay you back. Just add ‘girlfriend’s food addiction’ into your weekly budget.
You won’t like her when she’s hangry!
You thought The Hulk was scary? You haven’t experienced a foodie running on an empty stomach. You know those Snickers commercials? They were most likely based on your girlfriend.
If you witness your girlfriend go into hulk-mode, get her food immediately!
You’re required to share your food, but don’t expect her to share hers.
If she wants to take a fry off your plate, she will take it. If you want one of hers, then expect to get your hand stabbed by her fork.
Always order an appetizer and/or fries for the table.
She will not want to leave until her stomach is full and your wallet is empty. Plus, this way you won’t have to risk your life when you want a few extra fries.
Foodies are the best significant others because they will accept you no matter how many cookies you can eat in one sitting. You will always have someone that will sit there and eat pizza rolls on the couch with you. They know the best places to have a good meal and aren’t afraid to hide their love for food. if you have a foodie in your life, hold onto them. Who else is going to convince you to eat cookies when you should be on a diet?