Have you ever been in a position where everyone looks to you as the expert, and begin to doubt your accomplishments? Maybe you receive praise for a job well done, only to feel as though you do not deserve it. You might even feel threatened by positive attention, worried that someone might catch on to you and out you as a fraud. If you have felt these kinds of emotions in the past, you likely were dealing with Imposter Syndrome.
Imposter Syndrome is a psychological pattern in which you feel as though your success is a mistake, or undeserved. This pattern is usually coupled with fears of being outed as a fraud. You stress about failure, thinking that one misstep will cause the whole thing to come crashing down. I know this feeling well, as I have dealt with it many times in my career.
So, what can you do? When you are afflicted with imposter syndrome, it can be hard to get out of it. The stress and anxiety that comes with the pressure of being afraid to slip up can be slippery, often leading to a depressive state. Identifying imposter feelings early before they become mentally crippling is key to ridding yourself of that mindset.
1. Recognize imposter syndrome thoughts when they arise
The first step is almost always the hardest - When you begin to think those toxic thoughts that undermine your self-worth, recognize that you are losing control. High stress and anxiety can often cloud your thoughts, making it difficult to realize you are sliding. Practice and train yourself to be able to identify these patterns and stand up to them before they fully form.
2. Review the recent events and try to understand why you began thinking those thoughts
Imposter Syndrome thoughts usually manifest from conversations or interactions you have with your peers who you hold in high regard. Maybe it is your teacher, telling you you did a great job on your paper; maybe it is a coworker, congratulating you on a promotion; maybe it is your mom, telling you that you are gifted and special. The key here is that each of these people you hold to a high standard, and you begin to think that there must be some mistake. "How can someone like my college professor, a highly respected doctor in their field, possibly think that my work was worthwhile?" you might say to yourself. If you think over the course of the events, you might see that your hard work paid off, and that praise is actually warranted.
3. Talk about your concerns
Internalizing your Imposter Syndrome feelings can lead to problems in the future. If you begin to question yourself every step of the way, you become your own worst enemy. When you live in a depressive state, your internal monologue oppresses your thoughts, and will prevent you from performing at the level you are capable of. Talk to someone, especially if you start becoming anxious or panicked. Sometimes, the best medicine can be hearing yourself say what is wrong, and then hearing the person you tell it to understand where you are coming from. Don't have anyone to talk to about it? Consider seeing a therapist or counselor, or consulting your doctor.
4. Be good to yourself
When dealing with an anxious or depressive mood, it can be easy to beat yourself up and spiral further into a dark state. Being kind to yourself is almost impossible during this time, but try to remember the positives in your life. Did you get praise at school? Remember that you are lucky to be in a position to be in college. Did you get attention at work? Remember that you are successful and that your boss picked you for that role. Try to find the silver linings in your life and count your blessings wherever possible.
5. Learn to say “thank you” and mean it
This last tip is one I still have trouble with. When you are dealing with Imposter Syndrome, it can be difficult to take a compliment. You are so focused on thinking that the other person has made some sort of mistake, and they couldn't possibly mean you, that you put them in an uncomfortable spot. Remember, that person is going out of their way to say that something about you made an impression on them. Learn to say "thank you" and learn to mean it. If nothing else, going through the motion of accepting a compliment, rather than confronting it, will help you step past your imposter thoughts.
These are only a few tips that I have found work for me. I struggle with this every day, and it is always a learning experience. Of course, if you feel you are unable to handle these feelings by yourself, I will always recommend getting professional help from a doctor or therapist near you. Mental health wellness and awareness has blossomed over the past decade, and you will find your friends and family will be more accepting than you might think.
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