"Saying yes to happiness means learning to say no to things and people that stress you out" -Thema Davis
We entered each other's lives for a brief moment of time and that time has come to an end. Everyone you meet has a lesson to be learned, and what I learned from you is to be more selective with the people I allow into my life. I shouldn't have let anyone make me feel like I was uncared for and didn't matter--even if it wasn't personal to you, that's how I felt. No matter your intentions, how I feel matters. No excuses. You can't simply reason away feelings with logic, but rather try to understand where I'm coming from. You didn't.
You have different expectations of friendship, and that's okay.
I have different wants and needs in terms of those I keep close to me, and that's okay. What's not okay is operating under the assumption that yours are right and mine are wrong. Or that I'm completely silly for feeling like little more than a convenience, but that's an understatement. You made me feel f*cking awful because I wanted different--it's almost a twisted compliment because the more I like you, the more of an emotional influence you have over me.
I'm not completely in the right either, on the other hand. I had a taste of how nice it was to be in your embrace, so close to you, and for a moment forgot how I empty I felt. I wanted more of that, but you weren't ready for me--and it wasn't warranted how much I expected right off the bat, as if I needed you to fill that emptiness only I should be relied on to fill. You are not responsible for that, not at all.
Over time I became more aware of that inner emptiness when it came to our interactions, so much so that I couldn't take it anymore. For the sake of trying to be more understanding, I put my needs below yours--that wasn't the right answer. You should never place yourself below someone else--or have friends that elicit such a response from you. Once I realized that I had lowered my standards and given up my values in terms of friendship and my own sense of wellbeing, I was completely horrified. I had to remove you from my life to be healthier, happier, and true to myself--I didn't do it for a response.
I didn't do it to get back at you. I did it out of self-love.