I, as a straight person, consider myself an ally of the LGBTQ+ community (as all should be). However, as someone who has never experienced life like a queer person has, it can be difficult to know how to fully support friends and family. So, in honor of Pride Month I've asked some of my LGBTQ+ friends what to them makes a good ally. However, it is very important to remember these are the accounts of people in my life. If you're unsure, simply ask those in your own life what you can do to ensure they feel comfortable, safe, and supported.

"Oh gosh, that's a hard question. Well, in my experience, personally I've always liked it when people aren't afraid of talking about it or joking about it (obviously not in a mean way). I guess a good ally is just someone who doesn't treat you like you're different. I know that sounds cliche but it really makes a difference. It's like you can acknowledge that someone likes girls without it being something different."

"One of the best ways to be an ally (in my opinion) is always be open to new information and do your best to be understanding. As a LQBTQA+ person, it's really hard to feel safe to be ourselves sometimes and it helps when our allies try to talk to us if we seem uncomfortable--kind of just signaling to us that we are safe around you."

"For me personally, it's just someone that, even though they don't understand how I'm feeling, they're 100% judgment-free and they'll respect my feelings and emotions. They have to be a person that is down to stand up to any bigotry or discrimination they see. Because to be honest even a lot of my straight guy friends won't say the word "faggot" around me since I've constantly told them not to, but I've heard them say it when they think I'm not around or on social media as insults or jokes. So, it's being completely respectful to the community no matter who you're with, whether they're LGBT or not. And it's just understanding that LGBTQ+ people have struggles that straight people will never have, and just being completely supportive and being normal around a gay friend. Because when I'm with friends, I don't want to be known as the gay friend, I just want to feel like a friend, not singled out because of my sexuality. So I think that's super important to a queer person, just making them feel included, supported, and have everything be natural."

"The first thing that comes to mind is if someone comes out to you and doesn't EXPLICITLY say that you can tell everyone, then don't tell ANYONE. Even if it's your other friends. The same goes for if they hook up with someone in the closet. Don't make a huge deal asking who it is! 2. Allies can be part of LGBT conversations (in fact they need to be!) But, it's important to remember that as an ally, you are entering a space for a marginalized group. Let them talk. Whether it's telling a bi person that because they're in a heterosexual relationship at the moment that their opinion isn't valid, or telling someone "not everything mean is homophobic!" or anything that somehow invalidates a queer person's experience. If you do contradict something someone said, first ask yourself "Is my opinion different because I haven't gone through what they have?" If the answer is yes, don't talk. If not, proceed to healthy discourse! 3.There's a lot of disagreement on what should/shouldn't be in the community. Some like to use words like "queer" and "fag" to reclaim them, others still see those as slurs. As an ally, you need to respect whatever your LGBT friend's opinion is. If they say fag, it's never your job to tell them not to. Also, if they are fine with you saying fag too, that's great but that doesn't give you the right to say it in front of people who aren't comfortable with it. Just respect everyone's experience, say what they're comfortable with. 4. You're so smart for taking fifth grade English class and knowing that "they/them" are plural. Now that we have gotten that out of the way, if I ever hear you say that in response to a non-binary person using they/them pronouns, I'll assume you are a bigot. Firstly, they/them are used ALL THE TIME to talk about an individual, the only time anyone has a problem with it is when someone is non-binary. Secondly, it costs $0 to respect people and call them what they want. If you're having some moral dilemma over using they/them, ask yourself "Why do I hate non-binary people?" Then fix that problem and say they/them.

*Responses edited for length or clarity