How Three Months Changed My Life
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How Three Months Changed My Life

I am not the same person I was; I am a better version of myself.

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How Three Months Changed My Life
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How Three Months Changed Me

After a few years of letting the devil hit me with various trials, I realized that I wasn’t myself or the person that I used to be. I realized that I wasn’t as close with my family, friends, or even coworkers, so I decided to leave the situation I was in. That night, I came home after being at my friend’s house and got ready for bed. I waited for my parents to go to sleep, I went to my room, and I prayed.

I can’t tell you the last time I had actually prayed for myself before this night. I don’t think I had ever cried so hard in my life. Not because I was sad, but because I was relieved. It felt as if the weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders. I hadn’t felt like that in what seemed like my whole life. But I won’t go on about that, I’ll go on about how I finally started the path of the person that He needs me and wants me to be.

That night I prayed mostly for guidance. I had just finished my first year of college, got my first management job, I was already thinking about what medical schools I wanted to tour in the fall. But something was missing. I had everything I needed, though. I had a good job for a college student and my grades were good. I didn’t realize how much help I actually needed until that night.

So I began to pray even harder as each day passed. Weeks would start flying by and I couldn’t tell anything was happening so I honestly gave up. I tried, nothing worked, so I stopped for about a week. I was becoming hopeless, I didn’t have the patience to wait around like everyone had told me. Then on a very rainy Tuesday, after about a month’s worth of praying about the same thing over and over, it happened. What I had prayed for what seemed like a year, finally happened. Relief quickly set in. I was grateful.

After that, I finally began to not only ask God for things, but started to thank Him. You see, a lot of people don’t thank God for what He does or answers for us, but rather just beg and plead for what they want. They never think about the fact that the only real time they pray is when they are in a bad situation. I’ll be honest, that’s all I did for a month.

I begged him to help remove me from such a toxic situation and He did. I have thanked him every night because I know if I hadn’t, I would still be in the same situation, still wondering why God wasn’t helping even though I was the one who wasn’t asking. But when I realized He was helping me, that’s when I realized I wasn’t looking hard enough. God is all around us, we just never see it. One of the best parts about finding Him again was that I could all of a sudden start seeing His work in the most ordinary places that I never noticed before.

One night I prayed that I would have an easier day at work because I wasn’t feeling very well and no one else could work my shift. My sales associate that morning brought me breakfast and coffee when she came in for her shift. Just the little things like that give me a constant reminder of how God is slowly but surely answering even the slightest prayers. But that’s the thing about God, he is sneaky at times when He gives us answers but the fun part is when you realize those answers will always be right in front of you, as long as you look hard enough.

After a month of thinking about my life, I learned a lot more about myself. I realized I didn’t want to be a doctor anymore, who my real friends were, and most importantly, I wouldn’t settle for less than anything that I deserve. I prayed about all of those situations many, many times and all of them have been answered. It has been amazing to see how much God can do for you in such a short period of time, especially when you lose Him for a long period of time.

But that’s what made this experience so beautiful. He’s there even if you have been a little absent, He was never absent. When we think He’s not answering us, He’s working on it. He has shown me so many things that I had never saw coming, but I know will make a big difference in my life one day.

Without Him, I honestly don’t know where this summer would have taken me or where I would be if it wasn’t for me finding Him again. He showed me answers right when I told him that I had dealt with enough. I needed his mercy and forgiveness, which He gave to me in his time.

I noticed I became a lot more social as well. In early June, I honestly hated the idea of talking to people. I worked retail for four and a half years and I hated talking to people. Funny, right? I was so shy, it was almost embarrassing.

But by the time my birthday came around, mid-July, I realized I could carry on a conversation with anyone which I hadn’t been able to do in a very long time. I didn’t feel how I used to anymore, ashamed of myself or unconfident.

I got out of my shell that I had been in for so long. I quickly became proud of who I was and how far I had come with my life. I finally felt like Alivia again. I used to feel like I was playing a constant game of hide and seek with myself. But she was found the day I escaped the devil’s hold of me.

I am beautiful.

I am fearless.

I am enough.

I am everything he said I wasn’t.

I am not the same person I was; I am a better version of myself. What I thought I couldn’t accomplish before, it is in arms reach now. I found strength and love in Him; you can too.

This past summer is what I have needed in my life all along, but I strongly believe He wanted this to happen at the time it happened. I would go through what I had went through 10 more times, as long as it led to where I am right now. I can honestly say, though, that I am the happiest I have ever been in my life.

I have never been more confident and at peace with my current life and future. Let go and let God isn’t some cliché quote every girl has on her social media biography anymore. It meant something way more to me than I ever thought possible.

Finding God again was one of the best things I could have ever done, even if it did take a lot of sleepless nights, worry, and doubt. I am a lot more at peace and even when I think about worrying about something, I always have a little voice in the back of my head saying, “I got this, don’t worry.”

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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