I’ve been hearing and seeing a lot about relationships, and “waiting” for a significant other lately. My social media is heavily inundated with the topic, beginning with my twitter timeline, which is often filled to the brim with opinions of others regarding dating and what such should consist of.
Followed by my Instagram, which too often has memes of jokes regarding the same and of course, my facebook which is home to all the BuzzFeed articles a single could ever want to read (if you’re feeling a sense of sarcasm with my BuzzFeed comment then you’re probably accurate).
Now, no spiteful intent towards BuzzFeed, or anyone on social media ironing out your thoughts, because your expression of opinion is honored, but if I’m being honest at times it seems overwhelming.
And rightfully so, because although everyone and their mother (literally) has their own standards and opinions of dating… truth is, this topic isn’t a one-size fit all. What works for the majority isn’t always suitable for you. So how do you find what you believe works best?
Now, many will tell you trial and error, and although I do believe that your own experiences will benefit you, I do not oblige to the notion of “kissing frogs”. You can if you’d like, but being 22 and having kissed too many frogs, there are some frogs I could have done without, had I known what I am discovering now.
What’s the discovery Bri? Glad you asked, the discovery is my identity. The type of human being I hope to become. Which translates into the type of significant other I’d like to attract.
“The type of human being I hope to become translates into the type of significant other I’d like to attract.”
Now, before you all rush to find your gavels be mindful of ‘the list’. You know the list that you keep in your figurative back pocket, the one that clearly states all of your expectations and deal breakers in potential partners. Yes, we all have one and any individual that tells you they do not is a liar!
Now, I typically do not like to use the term “liar” due to its severity, but it is appropriate for this matter because to not know what you want in a significant other is to wildly accept anything, and WE ALL KNOW WHERE SETTLING LEADS.
So, again keep in mind your ‘list’ and not only how it will translate into a partner but most importantly how it relates to you first and foremost.
Now, I am not preaching anything that I am not currently living out and struggling to do so (might, I add). “Waiting” is not easy, especially in a society that lives for situationships and rotations. Yet in reference to my opening statement of social media weighing in on our perspective of dating… I read an article that literally revolutionized the way I looked at men, the way I want to continue to look at men, and the way I hope to look at “my” future man.
I found this gem titled “Whistle why you wait” on Mariah Houghton (a favorite blogger of mine) Instagram page. She and her husband Byron Rideau (the author of this mind boggling piece) married relatively young, which should encourage my fellow romantics. YET, the truth in this piece is literally tear-jerking (at least in my most humble opinion) and a GRAND testament to the fact that millennials can set their own standards of love, relationships, marriage and family and be successful at such.
In the article, (which I will share the link towards the end) Byron talks about “whistling” while you wait for the revelation pertaining your future significant other. “Whistling” in regards to finding contentment in God first and foremost before trying to give of yourself with a partner. Now, I know many of us have different spiritual beliefs, but one common truth in many religions if not all, is the art of ‘suffering’
“I’m glad in God, far happier than you would ever guess — happy that you’re again showing such strong concern for me. Not that you ever quit praying and thinking about me. You just had no chance to show it. Actually, I don’t have a sense of needing anything personally. I’ve learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I’m just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I’ve found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am.” Philippians 4:11-13( MSG).
It’s this type of contentment that has to be a priority while living out your season of being single. If you’re single and always looking for a partner, then you’re missing the lesson of taking of your time and enjoying your life as is. There’s a lot of love and life to enjoy while waiting, so from one single to another I encourage you to begin learning to whistle.
As promised here is the link to read in full: “Whistle why you wait” as well as some other online reads I’ve found to be both helpful and encouraging: